The Truth Comes Out
by LittleMissBensonBaby
Summary: "Stef and Lena are the best foster moms I've ever had. They make me feel safe and protected and I haven't felt that way in a long time but they say it's only temporary and that makes me afraid to get close to them." Slightly AU regarding Callie's life before foster care also, there's no Jude in this story.
1. The Truth Comes Out

**_Warning_** There are mentions of physical abuse and rape.

* * *

 _"My name is Callie Jacobs and I'm 15 years old. My parents dies when I was eight. I've been in the system for three years now. I've been in five different foster homes and five different schools. I'm in a really great foster home right now, but they say it's only temporary and that makes me afraid to get close to them."_

 **Stef's POV**

I came upstairs and heard a quiet voice coming from Callie and Mariana's room. Mari was out with friends so I wasn't sure who Callie could be talking to. I moved closer to their room and with the door already cracked, I leaned against the door frame and listened carefully. My foster daughter was sitting in front of her computer and was recording herself as she talked.

" _Stef and Lena are the best foster moms I've ever had. They make me feel safe and protected and I haven't felt that way in a long time."_

I heard Callie laugh lightly and I smiled. I loved hearing that laugh, but I wasn't prepared for what she was about to say next.

 _"I'm afraid that when they find out about my past that they won't want to foster me anymore. I shouldn't care, I haven't felt wanted since before my parents died but I really like it here. I wish I could be an Adams Foster."_

In that moment, my heart broke. I had felt a connection to this young girl since the first moment I laid eyes on her but she kept us all at a distance. My wife and I had talked about formally adopting Callie many times in the six months that she had been in our care. We loved her like she was one of our own, but we didn't want to scare her by moving to fast.

 _"I've been having a hard time talking to my counselor or even opening up to my foster moms so she suggested that I record myself telling my story and maybe then I'll be able to tell her or Stef and Lena. So here goes nothing, I guess."_

I felt like I should leave now, before I was really intruding on Callie's privacy but I couldn't tear myself from my spot. My feet felt like they were glued to the floor.

 _"I had really cool parents, at least, I think I did. It's getting harder and harder to remember them with every passing day. They died when I was eight. They went out one night for a fancy work dinner and they never came back. They were stuck by a drunk driver and they never even made it to the hospital. After that, I went to live with my aunt and her husband."_

I furrowed my brow. I didn't know Callie had stayed with other family members, I didn't even know she had any.

 _"They were the only family I had left. It was good there, for awhile. They both worked a lot and I was doing really good in school. After I had been there for about two years, though, my aunt had a miscarriage. Everything changed after that. My aunt started staying out a lot and her husband started drinking. He would go into these rages and one time he even tried to set the house on fire before we all went to bed. After that, we moved into a rental house but things just got worse. He use to scream and throw things at my aunt, she always looked so scared and one day, she just left. She never came back. She never talked to me again. They told me later that she died of an overdose. After she left, her husband got even worse. He started to become physically abusive. He would hit me and he made me clean up after him. That was almost bearable but one day... one day, he told me that I was the reason my aunt left and that I needed to fulfill her role."_

My heart skipped a beat as I prepared myself for what I was about to hear. I knew what was coming next but that didn't make hearing it any easier.

 _"He raped me and he violated me in every way possible."_

I could hear the tears in Callie's voice and it took every fiber in my being not to burst into that room and comfort my baby.

 _"He did it over and over again, every day. Until one day, I came home from school and I couldn't find him. I heard a noise coming from the garage and I thought it was him. I was suppose to make him a drink everyday when I got home so I did and when I went out to the garage to take it to him, I found him in his car, the car was running, and he was dead."_

I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I had heard enough.

* * *

I quickly and quietly went downstairs and found my wife doing the dishes while listening to some soft music.

"Lena?" I alerted her of my presence as I entered the room. She turned around and I saw her smile turn into a frown.

"Stef, honey, what's wrong?" She questioned tenderly, She swept across the room effortlessly, making her way to my side in just seconds. She reached up and wiped a few tears away from my face that I didn't even know where there. "Did something happen?" She inquired, I could hear the worry in her voice.

"Do you remember the last time we talked about adopting Callie?" I prodded and Lena nodded her response.

"We said we were going to wait until we were absolutely sure." She added and I smiled at her.

"I want to do it." I paused to shake my head and sign heavily in an attempt to still my rapid moving thoughts.

"What's changed?" Lena asked giving me a questioning look. She was ready to adopt Callie over a month ago, we had even talked to the other kids about the possibility of this happening. I was the one who was holding back and in this moment, I couldn't figure out why I ever had hesitations.

"I just heard Callie record herself, telling her story.. her story before foster care and it broke my heard." Lena gave me a warning look and I knew what she was thinking. I tend to be moved easily by a sad story from all the kids we've fostered. "It's not just that. She's our daughter, Lena. I've know that for a long time now. I was just worried that we were rushing things but I'm sure now. The thought of Bill finding another home to place her in, it makes me sick. Callie is ours and she belongs in this family. I want her to know that she has a family and that she is an Adams Foster."

Lena's face lit up and she smiled widely."It's early enough," She noted, looking over at the clock on the over. "I'll call Bill!" She squealed happily.

I laughed, I hadn't seen my wife this happy since we decided to formally adopt the twins. Our family never felt complete but in this moment, it was starting to feel like this was the final thing we needed to feel complete. Callie was ur daughter and all we needed was a judge signed piece of paper to make it official.

* * *

 **A/N** Hi guys! I've never written anything for The Fosters but I've been reading so many Foster fan fics this week and with the season finale, I've kind of been on a Fosters binge. I started writing and this just kind of happened. So I'm not sure if this is going to be just a one shot or if I'm going to continue off of it. I guess it will depend on if anyone wants to read it. Also, I changed Callie's story before foster care, kind of a way to tell my own story. They say writing is good for the healing journey so, here I am! (:

Please let me know if you like it or if you want me to continue.


	2. The End is in Sight

**Stef's POV**

Lena quickly excused herself outside so that she could call Bill. I turned around to go find Callie and to my surprise, she was standing at the bottom of the stairs, facing the kitchen.

"Hey, babes." I greeted her excitedly. "I was just about to come looking for you!"

"I'm sorry!" She cried, sounding desperate. I moved closer to her, confused by her words.

"What are you sorry for, Callie girl?"

"I... I... your calling Bill. I don't know what I did but I'm sorry!" I moved to get closer to her and she put up her hands in defense. "I'm really sorry!" She cried again and turned, running up the stairs. I signed, I hadn't realized that she had heard the last part of mine and Lena's conversation. I followed her path up the stairs and knocked on the bedroom door.

"Callie, honey, can I come in?" I didn't receive an answer so I opened the door slowly and to my surprise, I saw my girl packing her stuff. "Callie," I tried to get her attention and when I failed, I moved over towards her bed and sat down. "Callie girl, what are you doing?" I tried again. She looked over at me as if it wasn't obvious.

"I'm packing so I'll be ready when Bill gets here." She sounded defeated.

"Come sit with me, babes." I patted the spot next to me on her bed. She didn't look certain but she finally came and sat down. "Bill's not coming." I started to explain softly and my girl looked up at me confused. "You heard Lena say that she was going to call Bill, yes?" I put my arm around her so I could pull her closer. I felt her nod and I continued. "Honey, that wasn't because you did something wrong or because we wanted him to come get you." I tried to explain calmly.

"It wasn't?" Callie looked up at me with her face scrunched up.

"No, didn't we tell you that this would be your last stop before you found a permanent placement?" Callie shrugged and I continued. "Well, Lena and I have something we need to talk to you about." I felt my girl go rigid against my side.

"Did Bill find me a permanent place?"

I almost missed what she said, she spoke so softly.

"He might have." I assured her, slowly rubbing her arm in an attempt to offer her a sense of comfort.

"Ohh." She nodded and stood up. "Okay, that's cool." She feigned excitement and I saw right through her.

"I'll go get Lena and we can all talk, okay?" I asked as I moved towards the bedroom door. I saw Callie nod and I exited the room. I felt bad knowing Callie thought she was leaving the house but I didn't want to say anything until Lena could join us.

* * *

 **Callie's POV**

I didn't know when I would be leaving so I couldn't decide if I should keep packing or put my clothes back in their temporary spot. I decided to keep packing so that my hands could stay busy. I knew from the beginning that this was placement wouldn't be forever and I cursed myself inwardly for getting so attached. I didn't mean to, but Stef and Lena were just so nice and it's hard not to love them.

* * *

 **Lena's pov**

Stef and I had entered the bedroom together and I noticed that Callie was packing her things.

"What are you doing, Slug-A-Bug?" I asked, using my favorite nickname for her.

"Just making sure I'm ready for when I have to go to this permanent home." Callie forced a smile and I looked over at my wife confused. She gave me a sympathetic look and then voicelessly, encouraged me to continue with what we came in here to talk about.

"Well that's what we wanted to talk to you about." I locked eyes with Callie. "Come sit with us, honey." I offered while patting the open spot on the bed between Stef and I. Callie stopped what she was doing and came over and sat down with us.

"What about it?" Callie asked timidly. Stef and I shared a look with each other and I nodded at her.

"We have something we want to ask you, sweets." Stef implored in a gentle voice. I saw Callie nod slightly, urging us to continue.

"Callie, you've been with us for almost six months now and we've grown to love you like one of our own." I paused and I could tell she was preparing herself for a loss. She looked so defeated even though she tried so hard to hide it. "Honey, Stef and I have discussed it with each other and with the kids and we were wondering, would you want to make this a more permanent placement?"

 **Stef's POV**

"But what about the other people?"

I could tell that my conversation with Callie earlier had confused her. "Callie, when we were talking earlier, I meant you would have a permanent place here, with us. We would like to formally adopt you, sweets. If you are okay with that." I finished the last part of my sentence and was not quite sure how she would react.

"I... You mean, I would be an Adams Foster?" Callie asked. I could normally gauge how she was feeling just by looking at her but I was struggling to do that right now.

"If you want to be." I heard Lena reassure our baby without looking away from her face.

"You would be my mom?" Callie questioned, "You really want me?"

I could tell Callie was in shock. I put my arms around her and pulled her close to my side.

"Oh honey, we want you more than anything. You're one of our babies." I disclosed with tears in my eyes.

"Are you sure?" She raised her head and glanced at Lena and then myself with watery eyes. I looked over at my wife and we shared a knowing look. This poor girl had been rejected so many times that she was afraid we were going to do the same.

"We've never been more sure of anything." Lena piped up before I could.

"We want you, Callie girl. Are you prepared to be an official member of the Adams Foster family?" I already knew the answer but when Callie laughed my heart melted. She had the sweetest laugh.

"Yes!" She exclaimed.

Lena and I squished Callie between us in a momma sandwich. Soon enough this sweet girl would be an official member of this family and she would never have to worry about social workers showing up or suddenly being pulled out of our home, ever again. OUR home. Callie Adams Fosters home.

 **Callie's POV**

As my foster moms hugged me, I was so happy but suddenly I could only think about one thing.

 _"Will they still want me when they know what happened before I was in the system?"_

* * *

 **A/N** I got such a huge response from the first part of this, thank you all so much! I got some crazy, life changing news shortly after I posted the first chapter today and I thought that there was no better way to channel nervous energy than to write, so this just kind of happened on a whim.

I apologize if this if not as great at the last chapter, my mind is kind of in a million places but writing this totally helped calm me down. So, I hope you liked it!

I think in the next chapter we'll meet Callie's therapist and hear about how she's dealing with this change. As well as how she feels about her relationships with the other kids in the family.

If you liked this chapter, please let me know and if you have any suggestions, I'm always open to them!

Have a great night/day everyone!


	3. Progress is a Process

**Stef's POV**

I glanced over at Callie as we slowly approached a stop light. Her head was turned towards the door and I assumed she was watching the rain fall outside. "Whatcha thinking about?" I asked as I placed my hand over hers. She looked my direction for just a moment before turning her attention back to the rain fall outside. "Hey, what's bothering you, love?" I inquired as I continued driving.

"Sorry." She whispered before pulling her hand away to wipe the few stray tears that had made their way down her cheeks.

"You don't have to be sorry, sweetheart, but I would love it if you would talk to me. What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"It's just.." My girl signed and shook her head. I pulled into the parking lot and quickly found a spot to park. I was glad we decided to leave early today, this meant I had time to talk to Callie before she had to meet with her therapist.

"Its just, what?" I prodded gently.

"The rain." She divulged with no other explanation.

"What about the rain?" I was determined to figure out what had her so preoccupied.

"It reminds me of my parents." She mumbled. "It was raining the night they died and it didn't stop raining for three days." She confessed sullenly.

"Oh, honey." I cooed while placing my arm around her. "I'm sorry you lost them, my baby. It must have been scary to go through that alone."

Silence filled the car for a couple minutes before Callie's voice broke through it.

"Are you sure that you guys want to adopt me?" She asked, shyly. I was taken aback.

"Of course we do, Callie girl. We love you." I tried to sooth her doubts.

"But there's things that you don't know about me. Things that nobody knows." She insisted and my heart hurt for my baby. I knew what she was talking about but I wanted her to tell me. I wanted to be able to comfort my daughter when and if she felt comfortable enough to share the events of her bleak past. Before I could say anything Callie looked down at the clock and then opened her door. "I'll be late if I don't go in now." She explained as she got out of the car.

"I'll be here when you're done!" I called as she shut the door and made her way towards the building.

* * *

 **Callie's POV**

I followed Rita into her office and sat down on the over sized couch. I folded my hands into my lap in an attempt to make myself seem smaller, as if that would get me out of this session.

"How was your week, Callie?" Rita asked me and I shrugged.

"It was good, I guess." I wasn't good at this 'opening up' thing and I always felt awkward in the beginning of these sessions.

"You guess?" She asked and I nodded. "Why don't you tell me what happened that made it 'good I guess.'" Rita used air quotes to mock my words, but it wasn't in a condescending way. It actually made me feel more comfortable, not like my other old uptight therapists.

"Well," I wrung my hands together and looked up at the ceiling, mentally recalling the events of the past week. "My foster family asked me if I wanted them to adopt me." I gushed and Rita smiled.

"How do you feel about that?" I groaned. I hate that question.

"I said yes but I'm still afraid that they won't want me after they find out about my past."

"So you haven't talked to them yet?" Rita had one of her eyebrows cocked and I shook my head, trying not to feel ashamed. "That's alright, all in your own timing.. but I do suggest you talk to them sooner rather than later. The sooner you talk to them, the sooner you can enjoy this process and stop worrying about this dark cloud hanging over you." I listened to Rita's words carefully, I knew she was right. "Tell me about the other kids in the house. How do you guys get along?"

I smiled widely. "I love my foster brothers and sister. They're so cool!" I laughed thinking about how crazy we all were. "I always wanted siblings. Brandon is the oldest, he's a year older than me and he's Stef's biological son. He plays the piano all the time. He's really good. He's helping me learn how to play the guitar. He even gave me his old one!" I paused, Rita nodded, and I felt encouraged to keep talking. "Mariana and Jesus, they are twins and they're a year younger than me. Stef and Lena fost-adopted them when they were eight, I think. Jesus plays a lot of video games, like, A LOT." I stressed the word 'a lot' while laughing.

"And Mariana?"

"She's really girly, so we're not much alike but sometimes she asks if she can paint my nails and we talk about a lot of stuff when she does." I stopped, I didn't think I had anything else to say until, "Oh!" I exclaimed remembering something. "Two nights ago we had a movie night. We couldn't decide on what to watch because the boys wanted to watch The Dark Knight and the girls wanted to watch 10 Things I Hate About You so we watched them both. And Lena even threw a handful of popcorn at Stef because she kept talking during the movie." I laughed, remembering the look on Stef's face. "After the movies were over, their moms said we could camp out in the living room that night. It was really fun!" I looked over at Rita and she was smiling at me. I guess it was because I was opening up a lot more than I had in the past.

"It sounds like you're really enjoying having siblings." She acquired and I nodded eagerly.

"I love it! In my other foster homes, they always treated me different than everyone else but with Stef and Lena, they treat me just like the other kids. I think I forgot what it was like to not be 'the new foster kid.'"

"We're almost out of time for today but I wanted to talk about one more thing... Stef and Lena are your moms, Callie." I looked at her confused, I didn't know what she was getting at. "You said 'their moms' let you camp out in the living room. They are your moms too, Callie. I know it's not official yet, but they are your moms."

I don't think I had realized that yet. I wasn't going to have a foster family anymore. I was going to have a real family. "Thanks Rita." I smiled as I stood up, knowing our time was up.

"Are you ready to become an official member of the Adams Foster family?" She asked as she stood up as well.

"Yes!" I answered excitedly.

Our weekly session ended with Rita encouraging me to talk to Stef and Lena. I still wasn't sure if I could do it. I was afraid of what they would think of me.

* * *

 **Stef's POV**

I closed my book and put it away when I saw Callie approaching the car.

"How'd it go, sweets?" I asked as she got in and buckled her seat belt.

"It went really well." Callie responded and I believed her. This was only her third time meeting with Rita but this was the first time she had come out of the session in a good mood.

The drive home was quiet, I could tell that Callie was stuck in her thoughts. We had almost made it home when I heard Callie speak again.

"Stef?" She spoke softly

"Yes, my love?" I answered as I pulled into our driveway.

"Could you and me and Lena maybe sit down and talk tonight... privately?" Callie looked down at her hand and I moved my right arm so that I could hold her two hands in my one.

"We would love to sit down and have a chat." I agreed and as we made our way into the house, I couldn't help but hope that our girl was finally going to open up to us.

* * *

 **A/N** Hi again! So I didn't sleep last night and in between two small pots of coffee and three shots of espresso, I somehow managed to get another chapter out for you guys.

I kind of made Callie seem a bit more childish in this chapter as she gushed over her foster family, but I think it's really important to remember that she's only just 15 in this story and this is her first chance at being a regular kid since she was eight years old. I wanted to capture the childlike spirit that she still has inside of her.

Next up, I'm thinking a chaotic family dinner and then let's get down to business with this heart wrenching talk between Callie, Stef, and Lena. Sound good? Let me know!(:


	4. Opening the Floodgates

**Lena's POV**

I heard the front door open and close from my spot in the kitchen. Dinner was in the oven, almost ready to come out and I had just got done prepping the salad.

"Why don't you go wash up before dinner?" I heard my wife say, followed by foot steps quickly making their way up the stairs.

"How did it go?" I asked as Stef entered the kitchen.

"What, no hi?" She asked feigning hurt. I laughed as she approached me and I greeted her with a kiss.

"Hello, my love." I paused for a moment gauging the look on her face. She didn't seem upset and she didn't seem happy. She looked stoic and my first thought was, 'always a cop.'

"Hey." She smiled and pulled me into a hug. "Callie wants to sit down and talk with us after dinner." She explained and I pulled back to share a slightly shocked look.

"Wow." I closed my eyes wondering if Callie would finally be opening up to us. She had been here for six months but she never shared more than she had to. She always involved herself just enough to be noticed but not enough to draw attention to herself.

"I think it had to do with what I overheard the other day." Stef thought out loud as she gave me one of those 'be prepared' looks. "It's not pretty." She warned and I signed. She was definitely the stronger of the two of us when it came to stuff like this. The timer went off, signally that dinner was ready to come out of the oven.

"It'll be okay." I commented with a quick kiss before I hurried off to the oven as to not burn dinner.

 **Stef's POV**

I exited the kitchen and walked over to the bottom of the stairs.

"Dinner!" I called up and not a moment later I heard doors open and close and three of my four little loves rushed past me.

"Finally! I'm starving!" I heard Jesus exclaim as he passed, I chuckled. I looked up and noticed Callie was slowly making her way to join the rest of the family.

"What's up, sweets?" I asked, seeing that she wasn't acting like her usual self.

"I'm not really hungry." She shrugged as she got to the bottom of the stairs, standing next to me. I felt her forehead and frowned slightly.

"You're not warm." I noted as I put one of my arms around her.

"I don't think I'm sick but my stomach is in knots." I smiled and kissed her temple.

"Think it had anything to do with our talk later?" I offered an explanation and Callie cocked her head up to look at me before she shrugged again. "Just try to eat a little, okay?" I asked and Callie nodded.

 **Callie's pov**

Stef and I entered the kitchen together and Jesus cheered.

"Finally! Momma made us wait." He complained and I heard Stef laugh.

"That's because if she didn't, there would be nothing left." She joked and I quietly took my place as food started to be passed around.

"So how was school today?" Lena asked after everyone had food on their plates.

"We've got this paper due in English tomorrow and I'm only halfway done." Mariana groaned.

"Well I guess we know what you'll be doing tonight." Lena said giving her a look as Mariana signed heavily, she always seemed more dramatic than needed but I thought it was funny. Brandon and Jesus started to talk at the same time and Brandon stopped, holding his hand out for his brother to continue.

"I think I'm going to try out for the wrestling team." Jesus explained nonchalantly.

"Really?" Stef asked amused.

"This doesn't have anything to do with that girl Emma, does it?" Lena asked with a pointed look and before Jesus could argue Mariana interjected.

"Of course it does!" She laughed and her twin brother shot her a look. Stef looked like she was going to say something and Brandon beat her to it, hoping to help his brother avoid any more embarrassment .

"I got the audition." He announced, referring to his chance to work with a prestigious pianist. Rewarded with a round of "congratulations," and cheers of excitement, he smiled proud of himself.

"What about you, Callie?" Lena asked and I gulped. I knew I would have to answer the question soon enough about how school was going.

"Well, I have this project I have to finish." I offered and everyone looked my direction. I hated when all the attention was on me.

"Oh yea? What's it for?" Stef asked and I sighed softly.

"It's supposed to be about family." I explained while looking down at my mostly full plate. I had spent most of my time during dinner just pushing the food around with my fork.

"Well it's a good think we're adopting you." Mariana spoke and I slumped my shoulders.

"Mariana!" Stef scolded.

"What? I didn't mean it like..." She tried to defend herself

"We know what you meant, Mariana, but you need to think about the way you say things before you say them." Lena explained.

"No, it's okay." I said without looking up from my plate. I knew Mariana didn't mean it the way it sounded but I couldn't help but feel like I was intruding still. "Can I be excused?" I asked, desperate to get away before things got any more awkward.

"You've barely eaten anything, honey." Lena noticed, sounded concerned.

"I'm not really hungry." I shrugged

"I'll put your plate up, in case you want it later." Stef said and I nodded my thanks as I stood and left the room. I needed some space.

* * *

 **Stef's POV**

Dinner came to an end and all the kids were starting to leave the room.

"B, you're on dishes tonight." I reminded him.

"I was hopping to go get in some practice time before." He explained as he pointed towards the garage.

"Dishes first." I told him, in a tone that meant, 'this isn't up for discussion.' I was met with a grunt as he went over to start on the dishes and I shook my head, knowing it was the only response I was going to get. "Thank you." I called as I left the room. I made my way into the living room where I found my beautiful wife straightening up the coffee table.

"You ready for this?" I asked, going to stand behind her. I wrapped my arms around her when she stood.

"No time the present." She quipped as she turned around to give me a kiss. We climbed the stairs together and found both of our girls in their room. Mariana was working on her paper for English and Callie was laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She looked like she was lost, deep in thought.

"You ready to talk, Slug a Bug?" Lena asked and Callie's head rolled in our direction and she just looked at us for a second before she nodded and got off the bed. "Why don't we go into our room so we can have some privacy?" Lena suggested as we all made our way into the room. I shut the door behind us and we all sat on the bed. It was quiet for a little bit and I could tell that Callie was still stuck in her thoughts.

"What are you thinking about, Callie girl?" I asked while moving some hair out of her face.

"Umm," She stalled momentarily, "Rita thinks that I need to tell you about my past before I get adopted."

"We've read your file." Lena commented, confused and Callie shook her head.

"It's not in my file." She heaved a sign. "It's from before I was in the system." Callie was struggling, I could tell.

"What's wrong?" I asked putting a comforting hand on her knee.

"I'm afraid." She mumbled.

"Afraid of what?" Lena questioned

"That you wont want me after I tell you." Callie explained as she wrung her hands.

"My love, look at me." I waited until I had eye contact before I continued. "Nothing you can say is gonna make us not want you. You hear me? Nothing." I assured her honestly. We had come to love Callie as if she was our own and soon she would be. It was quiet again and I wasn't sure if she was going to talk to us. I was about to say something when she spoke up.

"After my parents died, I didn't go straight into the system." She started and stared at the floor as she talked. "I lived with my aunt and her husband for almost four years. It was good for the first year and most of the second. I was doing really good in school. They were going to have a baby." Callie started to fidget between us and I put my arm around her shoulder, hoping she would feel some level of comfort as she divulged. "My aunt, she had a miscarriage." Callie paused and I looked over and caught site of my wife. I was hoping she would hold up okay. "Her husband, he started drinking a lot and he got really violent and one night, he tried to set the house on fire when we were inside.

"Oh, Callie." Lena hummed in her soothing momma voice.

"Wait," Callie interjected before Lena could say anything else. "Please, I have to get this out before I change my mind." Lena nodded and placed one of her hands on Callie's knee.

"Well, after that we moved into a rental house. My aunt started to stay out a lot, I use to think she was just working late but one day, she was just gone. She never came back. I asked about her when I was put in the system. They told me she died of an overdose." Callie reached up to brush away a stray tear. "After that, her husband got really angry, like, angrier than he was before. He told me that it was my fault that she left. He said that I made my aunt stress so much and that's why she lost her baby." Callie stopped to catch her breath and I noticed that she now had a stream of tears continuously free falling down her cheeks. "Then, he said that because it was my fault, that I had to fulfill her role and he, he," Callie started to get worked up and I pulled her closer to my side.

"What did he do, baby?" I asked softly. I knew what she was going to say but I also knew that she needed to say it and that Lena and I needed to hear her say it.

"He raped me." She cried and I looked up to see that my wife had a pained look on her face and she matched Callie with streams of tears cascading down her naturally tanned face. "He made me do so many things. I didn't want to but if I said no he would hit me. I told him to stop but he wouldn't!" Callie buried her face in my neck and I placed my hand on the back of her head, rocking us gently. I couldn't help it anymore, the tears started falling. I felt Lena put her hand on the small of my back.

"It's okay, my love. He can't hurt you anymore." I promised. My heart was breaking into a million little pieces. This was the first time our girl had showed this much emotion and while I was glad that she had trusted us, I was so hurt by what she was causing her pain.

"What happened to him, sweetheart?" I heard Lena ask, her emotion was evident in her voice. Callie sat up and looked Lena in the eyes.

"I came home from school one day and I found him in his car in the garage." She sounded emotionless. "He killed himself." I heard Lenas voice catch and then she put a hand on Callie's shoulder, wanting to comfort her but not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. Our girl surprised us, she leaned over and wrapped her arms around Lena. This was the first time Callie had initiated a hug herself and I was over joyed, despite the dismal situation we were in.

"I'm so sorry you went through that, honey." Lena consoled Callie as she started to get worked up again. "I'm so sorry." She murmured as she rubbed soothing circles on her back. Callie sat up and tried to wipe her face clean from the tears. It was a task that proved to be fruitless, since she was still crying.

"Do you still want me?" She asked timidly

"My love, we could never stop wanting you." I clarified. "You've been our girl since the day you came to stay with us and you will always be our girl." I kissed the top of Callie's head and made eye contact with my wife, having a silent conversation.

"It's almost bed time, bug." Lena noted and you could visibly see Callie deflate. "Would you like to stay in here tonight?" Lena offered and for a moment our girl perked up but then I noticed a flash of embarrassment sweep across her face.

"Oh common. It'll be like a sleepover. We can make a momma sandwich out of you!" I joked and Callie smiled.

"You don't mind?" She asked, looking back and forth between Lena and I.

"We'd be happy to have you." Lena insisted and Callie's smile grew.

* * *

 **Len's POV**

Stef was doing her thing, checking to make sure the doors were locked downstairs and checking to make sure everyone was in their beds. She had come back into the room and sat down on the bed shortly before Callie showed up. Stef pulled back the covers and motioned for her to get in, "Hop in, sweets."

We had been laying in the dark for about ten minutes. Callie wiggled for a second and then we heard, "I love you, moms."

"Callie?" Stef asked surprised and when we looked down at her, she was already asleep.

"We love you, too." I said even though she wouldn't hear me.

"We both do," Stef agreed and kissed the top of Callie's head a few times. "and we'll never stop loving you." She finished while closing her eyes.

"Never." I smiled and closed my eyes as well. It had been a long night and I was ready for sleep to take over.

* * *

 **A/N** This one was really difficult to write. It's hard to go back and revisit old trauma without reopening some old wounds. I've been working on it all day and I hope it turned out all right.

Coming up, be prepared for a lot of Callie outbursts and then emotional breakdowns. This is only the beginning, hence the chapter name. When you spend years of bottling up the past, when it comes out, it tends to come out in waves. So, mood swings, very high highs and very low lows. It's going to be messy.

As always, thank you for reading and PLEASE let me know how you're liking it, if you're liking it.


	5. Knowing is a Prerequisite of Loving

**Callie's POV**

I woke up in my foster moms bed. I was confused as to how I got there but when the events from last night came flooding back, I felt embarrassed. I had told them my secret. I never told anyone my secret. I started to panic. _'Breath deep and feel your feet on the floor.'_ I remembered my steps to stay grounded. I hurried to stand up, making sure to focus on my feet touching the ground. I had to control this. My hands started to freeze up in that one position, like they always did when I had a panic attack. I had to get this under control before anyone saw it. The last thing I needed was for the Fosters to think I was crazy.

* * *

 **Stef's POV**

The twins and B had just finished their breakfast and were off to school. Lena and I had decided that we would give Callie some extra time this morning because of how rough last night had been on her and that I would take her to school a little late, on my way to work. I walked out onto the front porch as everyone but Callie piled into the car and set out on their drive to school.

"Bye, my babies!" I called and Lena threw a smile my direction. ' _God, I loved that woman.'_ I couldn't help but grin as I turned around to make my way back inside the warm house. I went to the kitchen to rinse out my now empty coffee mug. After that was finished, I decided it was about time to go check on Callie. When I opened the bedroom door I knew something wasn't right. My Callie girl was standing in the middle of the room with her hands up, holding onto either side of her head, and she was swaying ever so slightly.

"Callie?" I asked softly as I moved closer to her. I could hear her trying to regulate her breathing, forcing deep breaths in and out. I carefully placed my hands over hers, one of each side of her head. "Sweets, can you hear me?" I received a small nod.

 **Callie's POV**

I felt hands being placed over mine and I was ready to fight them. Then, I heard a voice, it wasn't _him._ It was Stef, she asked if I could hear her and I nodded. I didn't think I had enough control to talk yet but I relaxed a little, knowing she was there and that she would help me. I heard her say that she was going to move us to sit on the bed. Stef started to rock us slowly and after what seemed like forever I was able to calm down.

"Sorry," I mumbled, embarrassed.

"It's okay, sweets. No need to be sorry." She told me as she wrapped me in her arms for a hug and for a moment, I let myself lean into her, relaxing completely. Stef always made me feel safe. "Do you want to talk about it?" She prodded after a few minutes and I shook my head. I didn't know how to tell her that I was embarrassed because I told her and Lena my secret. That I was afraid they wouldn't want me, even though they said they still did. She must have known that I was struggling with my thoughts because she kissed the side of my head and started talking in a soft, calm voice. "It's okay, love. We can talk later." I didn't know if I should be glad that I didn't have to talk right now or be worried that I would have to talk later. We sat quietly for a couple more minutes, Stef slowly rocked us and I leaned into her for support.

"Why don't we go downstairs for some breakfast and then we can get you to school?" She asked after a little awhile. I realized that I should already be in school and that the house was way too quiet. Everyone else must have already left. _'Special treatment for the screw up.'_ The voice told me. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. _His_ voice couldn't get to me, not with Stef right here.

* * *

 **Lena's POV**

"Can I freak out now?" I asked my wife as I checked the clock for what seemed like the thousandth time. It was now 8:30 at night. Callie had group earlier and was normally home by 7:30 at the latest. Stef me _the look_ and I could tell she was trying to hold it together herself.

"I'll track her." She nodded, referring to the 'Track my iPhone' app that we insisted all of the kids have installed on their phones. Stef looked down at the computer screen with a scrunched up face and then relaxed a bit. "She's right down the street, love. She should be here any minute." Stef explained calmly. I signed in relief but I was still concerned. It wasn't like Callie to stay out later than she normally does. Stef and I moved into the living room so we could confront Callie when she got in. The moment she opened the front door, I was glad that the other kids had gone out for ice cream with Mike. Callie was stumbling over self, she was drunk.

 **Stef's POV**

I was mad. No, I was more than mad, I was furious. I was ready to rage. Lena put her hand on my shoulder and I knew she was trying to calm me. Callie closed the front door and tried to make her way upstairs before my wife alerted her of our presence.

"Callie?" Lena spoke from her spot beside me. Callie spun around with wide eyes before she pulled herself together, somewhat.

"Where were you?" I questioned, trying to keep my voice calm.

"Where were you?" Callie parroted back in our direction. I heard Lena sign and I had to use all of my strength to not lose it right there. I closed my eyes momentarily and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to gain control of my quickly rising temper. As Callie made her way into the living room, Lena decided it was her turn.

"Where did you get the alcohol?" She asked in her principal voice.

"What alcohol?" Callie bit back, sarcastically. I'd never seen this defiant side of our girl. She was normally soft spoken and was always the last of our kids to talk back.

"This is not a game, Callie. You need to answer Momma's question." I demanded in a stern voice. At the mention of _'momma'_ Callie went rigid and Lena and I shared a look. Callie's demeanor changed and it worried me. She had a new burning fire in her eyes that I had never seen before.

"I went to group. So you don't have to worry about my attendance record reflecting on you." Callie maintained her withdrawn stance, crossing her arms. In an instant, all her walls were back up and even in her drunken state, she looked just like the angry girl who first entered our home six months ago.

"Honey, we're not worried about your attendance record. We're worried about you." Lena tried to emphasize our concern. She tried to cross the room to pull Callie into a hug but our girl pulled away. Even though Lena tried to maintain her composure, I could tell she was hurt. When we didn't receive a response, I tried a new approach.

"Callie, what were you thinking? What would we do if Bill found out? It could put this whole adoption in jeopardy." I contended, trying to get through to Callie but it seemed to only build her walls up higher.

"So why don't you tell him?" She returned, angrily. "Then you could send me away, just like every one else did. When are you going to do it, huh? When are you going to prove to me that you're just like everyone else?" Lena and I looked at each other, we were both surprised by the outburst. Callie's posture would tell you that she was angry and closed off but her eyes told a different story. I could still see the blazing fire but it was beginning to be extinguished by tears that were threatening to spill over. "I can't keep going on like this, waiting for the day that I come home and Bill's car is waiting outside. You said from the beginning that this wasn't forever so stop lying and make the damn call!" By now Callie had tears streaming down her cheeks. I wanted to be angry but my momma's heart hurt so much for my girl standing in front of me.

"My love, I don't know how much I can stress this to you," I moved across the room to stand in front of her. "Momma and I want you, so much. I know in the beginning we told you that this wouldn't be forever but things changed, love. When we said that, we didn't know you. In the time you have been here we have come to know you and we love how caring, and sweet, and sassy you are." I tried desperately to get my feelings across. "We fell in love with who you are, Callie." When I spoke her name, her eyes rose from their resting spot on the floor and looked at mine. "There's my girl." I smiled, before I could complete a thought Callie had flung her arms around me and buried her face. I looked up at Lena, I wasn't exactly sure where to go from here.

"I'm..." We heard a mumble come from out distraught daughter and Lena raised an eyebrow.

"What's that?" She asked in a soft tone. Callie pulled herself away from me just enough to be heard. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She repeated herself, over and over and when Lena and I made eye contact, we knew that we were done with the topic for now.

 **Lena's POV**

I heard the car pull up outside which meant that Mike had returned with the rest of the kids from their ice cream outing.

"Why don't Callie and I go on upstairs and you can make sure everyone else gets to bed on time." I offered, knowing that the kids would have questions and that it would give me a short amount of time to try to talk to Callie one on one.

After we got upstairs I helped Callie into our room and sat her down on our bed.

"No, I want to sleep in _my_ bed." Callie argued while she contradicted herself, curling up on the bed and getting comfortable. I chucked to myself, despite the fact that I had a drunk fifteen year old in front of me. I sat down beside her and brushed her hair out of her face.

"Why did you get drunk, Callie girl?" I asked her while continuing to run my hands through her hair. I was hoping that in a more relaxed environment, she would feel more comfortable to open up. I loved my wife but she definitely had a harder time when it came to keeping her composure in situations like this.

"I thought," Callie started to explain her actions but was interrupted by a yawn. "That if you were going to send me back, at least I could make it happen on my terms."

"We told you this was forever, sweets. What made you think we were going to make you leave?" I asked softly, when I looked down, I noticed that my girl was slowly starting to drift off.

"I was scared." She yawned again and pulled the pillow closer to her.

"Why were you scared, honey?" I knew I was pushing it but I wanted to get an answer before she fell asleep. I didn't know how much she would be willing to divulge in the morning.

"Because, I wanted to be here." She mumbled. I was dumbstruck. That wasn't the answer I was expecting, not even close. This girl, who has been through Hell and back, finally found a forever home and here she was trying to sabotage it because she's afraid that it will be taken away like everything else. This realization just strengthened my desire to adopt Callie. She deserved so much more than what life had dealt her and I was prepared to show her that.

I must have been lost in thought because the next thing I knew, Stef had come into the bedroom. I held my finger up to my lips and pointed down at a sleeping Callie. We stepped into the bathroom to gain a bit of privacy while also having the ability to talk without risking waking our young girl.

"How are the kids?" I asked as I enveloped my wife in a hug.

"They were worried about Callie but I let them know that she was okay." She explained and I nodded. We rested our foreheads together and searched each others eyes. We weren't looking for anything in particular. Sometimes we just enjoyed the act of maintaining eye contact in close proximity. "How's Callie?" Stef finally asked after a minute.

"She's hurting." I sighed, remembering what she told me.

"What did she say?" By the look I was given, I knew my wife knew I had gotten something out of our girl.

"I asked her why she went out drinking and she told me it was because she thought we were going to send her to a different foster home." I started to explain and was interrupted.

"Well I figured that much out by her outburst downstairs." Stef joked, dryly. I knew my wife well enough to know that she was just trying to cover up her fear.

"When I explained to her, again, that we were forever, I asked her why she thought we were going to get rid of her, she said she was scared." At the mention of one of our babies being scared, I could see the empathy in Stef's eyes. She hurt because her girl hurt.

"Did she tell you why she was scared?" She asked, bracing herself for the answer.

"Honey, she's scared because she wants to be here." I said softly, waiting for the weight of my words to sink in. My wife looked confused for a moment until she realized what I was telling her.

"Oh, Callie." She murmured, leaning into our embrace. I could tell she was looking through the slightly opened door, watching our sleeping daughter. I've known from the beginning that Stef had felt so strongly that Callie was ours but I could also tell that she was hesitant, as to not scare our girl who had not encountered a mothers love in over 5 years. She was playing it safe, also, as not to get attached to a girl who could have broken her heart if she had decided to run. After a couple minutes, Stef and I made eye contact and we silently decided that it was time for bed. We would deal with everything in the morning.

The most important thing in this very moment was that all of our kids were in the house, safe, and sound asleep. Everything else could wait until morning.

* * *

 **A/N** So here's the beginning of Callie's journey! Buckle up because it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Also, as a side note, I realized that I messed up the timeline regarding the amount of time Callie spent in her aunt and her husbands care. I got confused with my story line and the shows story line so to clarify, Callie's parents died when she was eight, she then went to live with her aunt and was not placed in foster care until she was 12. I'll go back and fix the last chapter to represent that but I just wanted to clear it up for anyone who noticed!

As always, please let me know what you think and happy reading!


	6. Speak the Truth but Speak Delicately

**Lena's POV**

The next morning found Stef and I sitting on the back porch. It was Saturday and in a few hours we would have four teenagers up and filling the house with life. We were taking the small amount of time we had and enjoying the quiet but we were also trying to figure out what we should do about Callie's actions yesterday.

"She's scared and not thinking clearly." I explained, my voice breaking through the silence that had fallen over us.

"I get that she's scared, love but if we don't do anything, it could send the wrong message." My wife countered and I nodded my understanding. As much as I wanted to let yesterdays incident slide, I knew that we couldn't. If Callie was going to be an official member of this family, we had to treat her as such. "So just for the weekend?" Stef asked to clarify.

"Yea." I spoke quietly while looking down at my mug and sighed, out of coffee. "You need a refill?" I asked, motioning towards her empty coffee mug as I stood up.

"Thanks," She breathed out as I took the mugs into the kitchen for a much needed refill.

 **Stef's POV**

I was conflicted. I knew Callie was only acting out because she was afraid but she was starting to worry me. She had always been so quiet and reserved and now, she was going out with God knows who to get drunk and having outbursts. Lena and I had seen other kids act like this over the years of fostering that we've done, but we've never seen a kid flip the switch so quickly. Lena returned with our mugs full again and sat back down in her previous spot.

"We need to talk to Callie." I thought out loud after a few moments.

"I'm sorry." I heard come from behind us and when I turned around, I saw Callie standing at the door, still in pajamas.

"Come sit with us, bug." Lena motioned to the spot between to us on the swing. Callie hesitated and I could see it in her eyes, she was hurting.

"We won't bite." I joked and winked at Callie, that earned us a small laugh. "Common, love. Come, sit, talk." I urged her again and this time Callie moved across the porch and sat down on the bench with us. Instead of sitting between us, like Lena had originally suggested, Callie opted to sit on the opposite side. It wasn't a large swing, so she was still close, but the sentiment behind her space, spoke volumes. It was quiet and no body dared speak up to interrupt the peace. After I had finished my second cup of coffee I set it down and moved over so I was closer to Callie.

"What's going on?" I asked in a soft tone as I placed my hand on Callie's knee. She looked up at me and just by looking into her eyes, I could tell she was thinking a mild a minute. "Talk to me, love."

"I'm not like you." She stated. She opened her mouth a few times, like she was going to continue on that thought but after a few attempts, she just closed her mouth and sighed.

"What does that mean, exactly?" I questioned, giving off a confused look. Callie furrowed her brows as she thought long and hard on how to continue.

"I'm not like you," She started again, stressing her words. "I'm not lucky. Things don't work out for me, they never have." She spoke slowly, as if she was trying to think as she spoke.

 **Callie's POV**

I was trying to speak slowly, keeping some control but as soon as I started, I couldn't stop the words from falling out of my mouth. When I started to explain, it was slow and I was carefully thinking about how to get my feelings across but my emotions got the better of me and my thoughts were moving to fast. I couldn't catch up to the speed of my racing mind and I couldn't get my words to slow down and give me back control.

"I don't even know why I was even placed here. We're nothing alike, You guys are a happy family and I'm just the poor foster girl that lost her parents." Judging by the looks on Stef's and Lena's face, my words had stung, but I couldn't stop. It was like everything around me seemed to slow down but I couldn't.

"Callie, slow down." I heard one of them say.

"Take a breath." Came from the other.

I couldn't hear them clearly enough to register who say what. My head was spinning and I was trying so hard to keep my emotions in check. I was fighting a losing battle. All I could think about was, _'You don't deserve them.'_ The voice was talking again, I tried not to believe it. It always lied, but it felt so true.

"Why do you want me?" My question started the adults, I could see it in the face.

"We love you, Callie." Lena was the first to answer and I recoiled. Love never got me anywhere good. I had loved my parents and they died. I had loved my aunt and she died. I had even loved her husband before he changed and he died too, although I didn't care as much about that.

"Why?!" I asked, angrily. I wasn't controlling my emotions like I normally did but I didn't care. They would be hard to control right now, anyway.

"Why do we love you?" Stef asked confused and I nodded. I didn't trust myself enough to open my mouth. I would probably start melting down again and then this conversation would get no where.

"Honey," Lena took my hand and I pulled it away. I saw the hurt that flashed across her face before she recovered and I couldn't help but feel bad. I didn't want to hurt Lena, but I didn't want to be touched even more. "Callie, we love you because you're a bright young girl who had been dealt a rotten hand. We love you because we see you, sweetheart. You're not a file on a desk, you're not a poor foster kid, and you're not just property of the government." Lena had tears welling up in her eyes and I had to look away. I knew I was the cause of them.

"Callie," Stef spoke now, she caught my eye and I couldn't break the eye contact. Stef always reminded me of all the good in my mom, the parts that I could still remember, at least. "I know you're hurting, love. Please, tell us where all of this is coming from." Stef had that look. The one that could make you share your deepest thoughts and your darkest secrets. I loved it but I also hated it. It was always hardest to keep my walls up around her. I knew what I wanted to say but I didn't know how to say it without hurting them. I looked back up at Stef and opened my mouth, not entirely sure on what was going to come out.

"I don't want to love you." I instantly shut my mouth and slapped my hand over it. That's not how I had intended to start. I saw Stef and Lena trying to mask what they were feeling. I knew I had messed up, I never wanted to hurt them. I was reeling, trying to come up with some way to back pedal what I had just said but Stef composed herself and she looked down at me with compassionate eyes.

"Why don't you?" She asked, I could tell she wanted to add 'love us' to the end of her question but it probably would hurt her too much to say it. I felt all my walls crumble to the ground. I tried desperately to will them to rise again but it was pointless, they were in shambles. When I realized that I couldn't put my walls back up, I switched all my energy into willing myself not to cry. I could feel the need rising and I refused to give in. I didn't think I could answer her question truthfully without crying , so I prepared a lie.

"Everyone I ever loved, died." I felt my eyes grow wide. That wasn't the lie. _'Damn it, Callie!'_ The voice spoke again. _'Stop telling them everything!'_ I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it. They were there for me and I really did want them to be my moms. I was just afraid of losing them.

"We're not going anywhere, bug." Lena sounded certain, while using my new nickname. I liked it, but I wouldn't dare admit to it.

"You can't promise that." I bit back, a little harsher than I had intended.

"No, we can't," Stef agreed as she took my hand and rested it between both of hers. "But we can promise that while we are here, alive, and on this earth, that we won't give up on you." I tried so hard to keep my composure but it was slowly slipping away. I could feel the tears slipping down my face and my shoulders started to shake as I cried. I felt Stef release my hand and wrap her arms around me.

"Oh, my baby." She murmured as she pulled me into her and even when the voice warned me, ' _don't let them get close.'_ I still leaned into her, letting all my defenses down. I held her shirt and I cried. I cried for the untimely death of my parents and of my aunt. I cried for all the pain that her husband had caused me over those two years I was left alone with him. Mostly, I cried because I knew Stef and Lena wanted me, but I was afraid that I was too broken to accept their love.

* * *

 **A/N** Okay so I had other plans for this chapter, but every time I tried to write them, Callie kept popping into the scene outside. So, I decided to use this chapter to show you what was going on inside of Callie's head through all this craziness. I also planned to have a lot more going on in this chapter but I just couldn't cut this conversation any shorter and this felt like the right place to stop.

Let me know if you guys liked it, or if you didn't, I guess. Just let me know and if anyone has any suggestions for what they would like to see, I'd really appreciate it! I'm slowly running out of ideas as this was only going to be a one shot! Haha.


	7. The Capacity to be Patient

**Lena's POV**

A few hours had passed since we had a breakthrough with Callie. We all sat together for awhile before Stef had sent Callie back upstairs to get some more sleep. After, Stef and I moved into the kitchen to start making a hot breakfast for the kids. Breakfast was ready and on the table when the kids slowly started making their way downstairs. Brandon was the first one down, wearing his headphones, probably trying to memorize his newest piece for the audition coming up. Jesus was next and he looked like he was still half asleep as he sat down, only answering questions with an occasional grunt. Last to finally make their appearance was Callie and Mariana. They were laughing about something as they came into sight, rounding the corner into the kitchen. I couldn't help but smile. Mariana had been the last of the kids to welcome Callie into the home. It was always nice to see them getting along.

"Nuhuh!" Callie laughed as the girls sat down, across from each other at the table.

"I swear!" Mariana confirmed whatever it was that t hey were in disagreement about. The girls formed a short stare off before they started laughing again.

"Someone seems to be doing okay." Stef whispered, only loud enough for the two of us to hear as she wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her chin on my shoulder. I smiled my agreement and turned to place a kiss on my wife's lips.

"She's a tough cookie." I added before I sat down at the table, joining the rest of the family.

"Oh, Jesus! Easy on the syrup, would you?" Stef groaned, seeing the massive puddle of maple syrup sitting at the bottom of his plate.

"Sorry." Jesus apologized while he shot Stef a cheeky smile.

 **Stef's POV**

After breakfast had been devoured Jesus went out to skate with his friends and Brandon left to go practice his new piece at his dads. That left Lena, Mariana, Callie, and I to clean up the kitchen.

"Hey, moms?" Mariana asked in a tone that let us know that she was about to ask for something. Lena and I turned to give her our attention. "Callie and I were going to go to the mall today." She told us and I raised an eyebrow at her words.

"Care to rephrase that?" Mariana knew better than to tell us what she was doing, she needed to ask. Mariana sighed heavily. 'Always the dramatics with this one.' I couldn't help but think.

"Can we?" She asked looking at Lena.

"Well," Lena started to talk and I shot her a quick glance, silently reminding her of Callie's punishment. "Callie, we didn't get a chance to talk to you about this yet but mom and I have decided that you're grounded for the weekend." Lena explained calmly.

"Why?" Mariana asked, upset she was looking her shopping buddy. "Because she was late last night? Common, moms, that's hardly a reason for grounding." She argued.

"You're going to ground me all weekend?" Callie interjected, not even bothering to acknowledging Mariana's objection. "So what, I got drunk?" As if it was a non issue. "It's not like it was my first time." She threw in at the end, trying to form a solid case, but she wasn't doing to great of a job.

"You're not really helping your case, darling." Lena added as I laughed drying.

"Wait, you got drunk?" Mariana asked, turning to her sister, like it was something to be proud of. "Cool." She smirked.

"Mariana!" I chided, letting her known that it was not 'cool.'

"What? It's kind of cool." She argued. "I've never been drunk before." I groaned, this was not the conversation I wanted to have right now.

"Let's keep it that way, huh, Miss Thing?" Lena gave Mariana a knowing look.

"This is bullshit!" Callie suddenly exclaimed and I couldn't stop myself when my head whipped around in her direction.

"Language!" Lena scolded and Callie rolled her eyes, walking out of the room.

"You better fix that attitude!" I yelled up the stairs that Callie was now climbing.

 **Mariana's POV**

I looked back and forth between my moms, confused by what had just happened. Mom had her elbow propped up on the counter with her forehead resting on her palm and Momma was just shaking her head.

"Okay, what was that?" I asked, confused. Mom had told us that Callie had missed curfew and didn't let anyone know she was going to be late but she never mentioned anything about alcohol. Plus, I've never seen Callie act like that, especially not directed towards moms.

"Callie's," She started and then stopped. She wiped her hand down her face like she does when she's tired and sat back down at the table.

"Callie's having a hard time right now." Momma offered as an explanation. I thought Callie would be happy and really peppy because of the adoption moving forward.

"About the adoption?" I needed confirmation as to why he was struggling. I didn't want to assume and make myself look like an ass in front of my new sister. "Shouldn't she be excited like the rest of us?" Momma came over and wrapped her arms around my shoulder, I leaned into her smiling. I loved Momma time.

"It's not that simple, baby." She simply stated.

"Remember when you and your bother first came to live with us?" Mom was trying to get at something, but I wasn't really sure what it was.

"You guys took awhile to warm up to us." Momma interjected.

"But Callie's been here for over six months." I argued my point. I still wasn't sure what my moms were trying to tell me.

"You're right, love, she has, but Callie's only opened up to Momma and I in the past week. We've had to let her get comfortable and feel safe. She's been shut down for a long time and it's going to take a little while for her to get into a grove." It finally clicked. Callie wasn't use to having moms around. I still remember how lonely foster homes could be. I couldn't imagine having to be in the system as an older kid. They always seemed to have it the hardest out of everyone.

"I'm gonna go upstairs." I excused myself and hurried up to mine and Callie's shared bedroom.

"Hey," I smiled as I entered the room. Callie was sitting on her bed.

"Hey, sorry you had to see that." She apologized and I shrugged

"If you're going to be an official Adams Foster, it's only right that you act like one." I jokes, referring to the fact that we all seemed to argue with moms at some point. "Consider it an initiation." I laughed and Callie did too.

 **Callie's POV**

Mariana had pulled out her laptop and it got quiet again. I laid back on my bed, I might as well get comfortable since I was going to be stuck in this house for the next 48 hours.

"Soooo, can I ask you something?" Mariana asked out of the blue.

"You kind of just did." I laughed lightly and Mariana sighed.

"Seriously!" She insisted and I shrugged. "Why did you get drunk?" She sounded sincere and I thought I could trust her.

"It's kind of a long story." I warned

"I have time, I mean, it's not like I'm going anywhere." Mariana closed her laptop and moved it to the sire, giving me her undivided attention.

"Well, it kind of started yesterday, before school. I started to have a panic attack and Stef saw it. After it was over, she said we would talk about it later." I tried to explain but I could tell Mariana wasn't following.

"Wait, so did you drink because mom saw you having a panic attack or because she wanted to talk about it?" Mariana asked, trying to clarify.

"I didn't want to talk about it." I shrugged.

"Well, why not?"

"Mariana," I groaned.

"What? I'm trying to be sisterly!" She defended her actions and for the first time it seemed to dawn on me that Mariana would be my sister, not just another foster sister.

"It's just that, before I went into the system, I stayed with my aunt and her husband." I paused, realizing what I was about to tell her. I guess I did have to go on a rabbit trail, to pull this explanation together.

"Wait, you lived with other family?" Mariana asked, sitting up on her knees.

"Yea, for like four years."

"What happened to them?" I had to laugh at how straight to the point she was.

"I was getting to that." I shot her a playful look.

"Right, sorry." She sat back down.

"Like I said, I lived with them for four years. After two years, her husband got really violent and abusive." I figured I would spare all the gory details, trying to get to the point. "My aunt left and so I was stuck, being his punching back, for the last two years. Sometimes, I still have nightmares about what he use to do. That's part of what cause the panic attack and I didn't want to talk about it." That had been a lot easier to explain than I had thought it would be. I didn't even get emotional.

"Oh." It was quiet for a minute. "What happened to them?" Mariana finally asked and I smiled lightly. I knew curiosity would get the better of her eventually.

"They're dead." I stared matter of factually. I saw Mariana's expression change, like she felt bad for asking.

"Sorry." She apologized and I brushed it off.

"It's okay. Maybe it's better than way." Mariana looked at my like I had to heads and I couldn't help but laugh "If they were still alive, I would probably still be with them and I wouldn't be getting adopted."

"Knock, knock." Lena announced their presence as she and Stef walked through the open door. "What are you girls up to?" She questioned, each mom eyeing one of us before turning their attention to the other.

"Just talking." Mariana shrugged one of her shoulders.

"Oh yea, what about?" Stef asked as she sat on my bed and Lena as on Mariana's.

"Just sister stuff." Mariana shot me a look, like she wasn't sure if they knew what I had told her.

'It's okay, they already know." I finally spoke.

"What do we know?" Lena asked, looking over at me, then down at Mariana.

"Callie was telling me about when she stayed with her other family, before she went into foster care."

"Oh?" Stef raised an eyebrow and put her arm around my shoulder. "How was that?" She asked, looking down at me. I thought I could see the concern in her eyes.

"Okay." I gave her a half smile. "Listen, about what happened in the kitchen. I'm sorry." I looked back and forth between Stef and Lena, making sure they both realized I was sorry.

"I see you worked on that attitude." Stef joked and I nodded sheepishly.

"I'm sorry for yelling." I said, while looking up at Stef, "and I'm sorry for the language I used." I finished my apology, directing the last part towards Lena.

"All is forgive, my dear." Lena smiled and I leaned into Stef when I felt her pull me closer.

"We love you, even when you're mouthy." Stef added and everyone laughed.

 **Lena's POV**

Stef, the girls, and I had moved downstairs and were watching a movie. Mariana and Callie were stretched out on the couch, while Stef and I shared the over sized chair in the corner. The movie was close to the end when Jesus came through the front door.

"Hey," I greeted. As he came in, he tried to scoot straight upstairs.

"Whoa, dude!" Stef called and Jesus stopped and turned around. "Acknowledge your Momma, would you?" She scolded.

"Sorry." Jesus offered as he came back and joined us in the living room. "What are you guys watching?" He looked at the TV. "Again?" He scoffed. We had watched this movie just the other night when we had a movie night.

"It's a good movie." Stef defended and Jesus gave her a sideways look.

"All these movies are the same. There's a girl and there are two guys. She goes for the bad guy, he breaks her heart, and then her 'knight in shining armor' guy comes in and sweeps her off her feet. Then they live happily ever after!" Jesus said that last part in a sing song voice while clutching his heart in mock, love.

"It's romantic!" Mariana cried, defending her favorite movie.

"It's unrealistic!" Jesus shot back and Mariana threw a pillow at him.

"I'm hit!" Jesus played up and fell to the ground, clutching his side. I saw Stef roll her eyes while smiling and I shook my head, laughing. The twins could be a major handful sometimes but their playful banter was the best.

As the movie came to an end, Jesus and Mariana were back to arguing about the movie and the sound of Callie's laugh rose above their voices. I turned to look at the teenagers and caught a glance of Stef smiling brightly. She had shared early on how much she loved the sound of Callie laughing. It had taken us almost a month after Callie got here until we really heard her laugh.

* * *

 _It was a Sunday morning and the kitchen was bustling with kids trying to get breakfast over with so that they could get on with their plans for the day._

 _"Who drank all the milk?" Jesus cried, looking down at his bowl full of dry cereal. Mariana glanced at her twin as she took a long drink from her full glass of milk. "Really, Mariana?" He rolled his eyes_

 _"There's a new gallon in the fridge." Stef noted as she came into the kitchen in the middle of the twins dispute. Jesus grabbed the new milk and filled his bowl. When he stepped back to put it away, he caught the side of skateboard that was laying on the floor and stumbled. He threw his hands up, trying to balance himself and the milk jug, that did not yet have it's lid on, sent milk flying every direction._

 _"And this is why we say no skateboard in the house." Stef sighed as she rested her forehead against the palm of her hand. Brandon and Mariana were wide eyed, still shocked by what had just happened but Callie was laughing, hard. It was the first time she had laughed genuinely since being placed with us. Normally she was laugh out of a habit of being nervous or if she was forcing it for someone else's benefit. I turned to my wife, smiling and Stef had shared my excitement, a huge smile plastered on her face._

 _"Well, I guess we really are out of milk now." I shot a look at Jesus and everyone joined Callie in her laughing._

* * *

"Brandon! Finally someone to save me from all this estrogen." Jesus cried happily.

"Hey!" Stef remarked and Brandon laughed as he came to sit with the rest of the family in the living room.

"I'll join you, but we're still outnumbered." Brandon gestured to the rest of the room.

"I'll take all the help I can get." Jesus said as he kicked his feet up.

Stef and I sat back, watching the kids interact with each other. Having four teenagers could get stressful at times but it was moments like this that seemed to make it all worth it.

 **Stef's POV**

"What's for dinner?" Jesus asked after while.

"Mom and I were thinking about going to get some take out." Lena spoke up and looked over at me. I smiled at her and placed my head on her shoulder.

"What do you guys want?" I asked, looking over at the kids who were now looking at each other as if they were silently trying to debate what they wanted. "Thirty seconds and then me and Momma get to decide. I warned and everyone started talking at one.

The rest of the day went by quickly. We had Chinese for dinner and after, we decided to do another family move night. The credits tolled as the movie came to a close and Lena and I looked around the room. Jesus and Brandon were asleep on the ground in front of the couch while Mariana and Callie were asleep, sitting on the couch with their heads together, supporting the others.

"Should we wake them?" Lena asked as she stood up to stretch.

"After we clean up." I answered as we started to grab popcorn bowls.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauties!" Lena sang as we reentered the living room. The kids started to rouse.

"Common, guys. Let's get you into bed."

* * *

"Mom! Momma! Wake up!" I heard as I rolled over. I caught a glimpse of the alarm clock on the night stand beside the bed, it read 3:02am meaning we had only been asleep for about three hours.

"What is it, Mariana?" I groaned, moving to sit up.

"It's Callie. I think she's having a bad dream." Mariana sounded worried. I rushed into the girls room and realized that Lena had followed me, while Mariana stood in the doorway. Callie was thrashing around in her bed.

"Callie, honey, it's okay." I spoke gently, trying to keep my voice calm. I reached out to hold onto her shoulder and as soon as my hand made contact with her skin she shot up in bed. Her eyes were wild and she scanned the room, looking for a thread. "You're okay, love. It was only a dream." I assured her. She suddenly seemed to realize that Lena and I were in the room and Mariana was out of her bed. She looked down, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled and I shook my head.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." Callie admitted so softly that I almost missed it. I tried to hide my shock, our girl had never openly admitted to being anything other than okay.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I heard Lena ask, coming to sit with us. Callie looked up at both us and then back down at the bed. I thought she was doing to shake her head but she just shrugged For a moment I thought it might be because she was to proud to admit that she needed help.

"Common, love. Let's let Mariana sleep and we can go chat in our room, yes?" I offered. Callie nodded and slowly got up off the bed.

 **Lena's POV**

Stef had lead Callie out of the bedroom and I hung back for a minute.

"You okay?" I asked as Mariana crawled back into bed.

"Yeah." She nodded as she moved to get comfortable.

"Thank you for coming to get us." I smiled as I pulled her blanket back up for her.

"She told me that she had nightmares sometimes but I've never seen them until tonight. She said 'don't hurt me,' and she sounded scared. I've never heard her sound like that." Mariana explained

"She'll be okay. Mom and I are here to help her." I told her as I leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you." She called as I moved to exit the room.

"I love you too, baby." I called back before closing the bedroom door and crossing the hall to join Stef and Callie for that talk. When I entered the bedroom, Stef was holding Callie close to her. Callie still looked shaken up.

"Hey." I greeted them, making sure it was known that I was in the room, as to not startle Callie. I sat down next to the two on the bed. We all sat quietly for awhile, allowing Callie some time to calm herself.

"What's bothering you, huh?" Stef finally asked, breaking through the silence.

 **Callie's POV**

I didn't exactly know what to say. So many things were bothering me, but I knew that she mostly meant what caused the dream.

"He was alive." I shuttered at the thought. I was having trouble actually forming complete sentences.

"Oh, love. You're safe now." Stef murmured and I didn't know why but her words that were meant to be comforting, only made me more frustrated.

"Now when I'm asleep." I mumbled and ducked my head down, I didn't want them to see me cry.

"Callie girl, look at me." I heard Lena instruct. I quickly wiped my face before looking up to meet her gaze. "Mom and I may not be able to protect you while you're in dreamland, but anytime you wake up in the middle of the night and need or want us, we'll always be here." I didn't know what to say, Lena's words instantly seemed to calm me, but that could have also been her hand running through my hair. She was such a good mom and I felt like I didn't deserve her or Stef. Lena's eyes told me that she was telling the truth. I didn't know how to feel, I'd never had anyone be so understanding. It was nice but it was also scary.

"Can I go back to bed, now?" I asked, suddenly feeling tired, embarrassed, and like I needed some space all at once.

"Of course." Lena smiled and I couldn't help but return it.

"You'll come get us if you need us, yes?" Stef asked as I stood up.

"I don't want to bother.." I couldn't finish what I was going to say because Stef shot me a look that only a mother could give. "I'll come get you." I agreed.

"Thank you." Stef smiled. "We just want you to feel safe." She added. I yawned and stretched before placing a kiss on both Stef and Lena's cheeks.

"I love you, moms. Goodnight." I turned around and walked back to my room. I saw the looks on their faced when I called them moms. I only did it once before and even then, I was half asleep and I didn't know if they even heard me. The only thing I was certain of right now was that Stef and Lena loved me and that they had my back. It was nice to finally have people on my side for the first time in a long time.

* * *

 **A/N** This chapters a little longer but I wanted to bring all of the kids into it, as well as start to develop the relationship between Callie and Mariana. Big thanks to fewcherwriter for helping me figure out a few things regarding the Mariana/Callie relationship

As always, pretty please, tell me what you think and let me know if you have any suggestions. I value all the responses I receive, good or bad.


	8. After the Dark Comes the Dawn

**Callie's POV**

 _"Did you seriously think that I wouldn't find out? Do you think that I'm stupid?!" He was angry and when he's angry, he likes to get violent._

 _"I was hungry. I'm sorry." I didn't know he was going to eat the bread for dinner, if I did, I wouldn't have even thought about touching it. I knew it would set him off again._

 _"Oh you're going to be sorry!" The way he said that made me tremble. I knew what was coming. He crossed the room in seconds and before I could react, the back of his hand connected with the side of my face. I grabbed my cheek but I knew better than to make any noise, that would only fuel his anger._

 _"Get up!" I flinched at his tone but I got up anyway, if I didn't, it would only get worse._

 _"You think you're tough? I'll show you." He unbuckled his belt and pulled it out of the loops in one quick motion. I knew what was coming next. This had become a daily occurrence. All I could do was take it and will my mind to go somewhere else. I felt him drag me into the bedroom and throw me in the direction of the bed. I heard the lock on the door click._

* * *

I shot up in bed, trying to catch my breath. Mariana was still asleep and I was so glad. The last thing that I needed was to wake up the house, twice in one night. I climbed out of bed and quietly tip toed out of the room and over to moms bedrooms. The door was open and when I peered in, they both looked so peaceful. It had only been an hour since the last time I woke them up and I knew they were probably tired. I thought about waking them but I couldn't help but feel bad about already causing them to lose sleep.

Instead of going in, I turned around and quickly made my way to the kitchen. Stef and Lena didn't like me drinking coffee but I really didn't care right now. I was tired but I didn't want to fall asleep and risk having another nightmare. I had never made coffee here and it was always made before I came downstairs in the mornings so I would have to be really quiet while looking through cabinets. The second cabinet I opened held the coffee grinds and filters that I was searching for.

As I was about to close the cabinet door, a glass bottle with a familiar label caught my eye.

* * *

 **Stef's POV**

I woke to the smell of coffee. I looked over at the alarm clock and it told me that I had only been asleep for just under an hour and a half. I rolled over, expecting the other side of the bed to be empty but Lena was still asleep next to me.

 _"_ _Oh, Callie, my love."_ I thought as I quietly got out of bed and made my way downstairs. The first thing I saw upon entering the empty kitchen was a bottle of vodka sitting on the counter. As I moved further into the room my eyes caught sight of the swing outside swaying slowly.

"Callie?" I asked cautiously as I approached the swing. My girl had a coffee mug in her hand but she was slumped over with her head between her knees.

"I found your stash." She spoke as she say up straight and I moved to sit next to her.

"Did you drink any?" I questioned, carefully taking her mug and holding it under my nose, hoping it wouldn't be met with a strong stench of alcohol. To my surprise, it just smelled like coffee so I took a drink.

"I was going to. I really was but..." Callie trailed off and tried to take her mug back. I moved it out of her reach and lifted her face so her eyes met mine.

"But what?" I stared into her eyes, trying to figure out what she was feeling.

"I didn't want to get the look." She mumbled. I looked at my daughter, confusion etched on my face. "The look. The one you give when you're disappointed. Mo-Lena has one too, but yours feels like it cuts me to the core. I can feel it in my bones." She explained and I had to laugh. That look had been perfected over the years. Having three teenagers before Callie got here really helped _'the look.'_

"You know it's because I love you, yes?" I put my arm around her and pulled her closer. I felt her nod as she leaned against me. It had taken over a month for Callie to allow us to touch her and another two months after that until she stopped flinching when we did. I don't think Lena or I had ever put so much time or effort into a new foster kid. Before Callie we had never had a kid who had been through as much as she had and it broke my heart. Callie and I had fallen into a comfortable quiet, like we often did. For a moment I thought she might have even fallen asleep.

"I really wanted to drink." She whispered after a long while.

"I know, love." I kissed the top of her head. I cannot imagine the strength it took for Callie to walk away from an almost full bottle of alcohol. "I'm proud of you." I told her with my cheek resting on the top of her head. "What stopped you?" I knew there was more to it than just _'the look.'_ I heard my girl sigh, she knew I could read her like a book and I knew she didn't like it.

"You know how people say alcohol helps you forget your worries?" I nodded. "Well, sometimes it makes it harder to forget." Callie's voice was low, like she was afraid that someone would hear.

"Why's that, love?" I felt her wiggle against me, the way she does when she's anxious.

"He use to drink a lot and his breath always smelled like old liquor and when he use to," She shuttered and I knew where this was going. I pulled her close, giving her a squeeze so she knew I was there. If she was going to talk about this, I wanted her to know that I was there for her. "At night, that's when he would do it. He would be drunk by then and he would breath really heavy and so the smell of stale cigarettes and alcohol, it always reminds me of when he would... when he would rape me." I could feel Callie shaking and I knew she was crying. My heart felt so heavy. My girl has been suffering silently for years and only now did she feel comfortable enough to open up. I may have been skeptical when Lena brought home a kid from juvie but now that tough girl was finally letting us in and I've never been so grateful.

"Oh Callie." I kissed the top of her head a few times. "I'm so sorry that you had to endure all of that, love. You deserved so much better." Callie went stiff and pulled away from me. I was suddenly worried that I had said something wrong.

"Do I deserve you?" Her eyes were full of tears and her face was sullen. I've never seen her look so sorrowful.

"My love, you deserve the best and Momma and I would like to be the best."

"I just," She looked down at her hands before shaking her head.

"What's bothering you?" I asked. I could tell her thoughts were running rampant.

"You guys, you call me things like, 'my love' or 'my girl' and I've having struggling to call you mom and momma. I hear his voice, all the time, and it keeps telling me that I don't deserve you because he broke me and he made me his. He use to say that I was nothing but his property and I hear his words all the time and..." Callie was starting to rant and I put my hands on her shoulders.

"My love," I tried to interrupt

"See?!" She cried. "How do you do that so easily? How can you call me yours after you know everything about me." I looked in her eyes, searching for what she was feeling.

"Callie girl, your momma and I love you, every part of you. That man may have violated you, but, love, he did not break you. I see you, your momma sees you. You're hurting but you're not broken, you hear me?" I put my finger under her chin, lifting her head so I could make eye contact. Callie's eyes spoke the words that she refused to. "We've got you, love. We want you, every part of you." I pulled her close to my side and relaxed when I felt her lean into me.

"But," Callie started to argue and I shook my head.

"No buts," I stated firmly, letting her know that there was no arguing my point. "You know what would happen if he was still alive right now?" I asked her after a couple minutes of quiet. Callie looked up at me, the curiosity sparkled in her eyes. "He would be arrested and in jail." I saw my girl smile as she thought about the possibility. That was exactly what I was hoping for. "And that's only if I didn't get my hands on him first." I whispered with a smile on my face and I heard my girl laugh.

 **Callie's POV**

"Do you know that I love your laugh?" I suddenly felt self conscious.

"You do?" I asked as I looked up at her.

"I do." She nodded and smiled down at me. In that moment, I felt like she really was my mom.

"Why?" I was confused, no one had ever told me that before.

"Do you remember when you first got here and you couldn't even look us in the eyes?" I felt bad, I knew I was a hard kid to love.

"We saw past your walls, love, and we patiently waited for you to feel safe. It took awhile and then the first time you really laughed, that morning that Jesus spilled the milk. Honey, I fell in love with that sound. I love when you laugh because I know that you've been through hell, but in spite of all that, you still laugh and enjoy life."

I felt myself getting teary eyed. No one had ever put that much thought into my life, not even me.

"If we had to do it again, a million times over, we would. We love you, Callie girl. You're worth every moment and you're ours, forever." I leaned into Stef and rested my head on her shoulder.

"I'm really glad that you're my mom." I heard Stef's breath catch and I smiled.

"You have no idea how pleased I am to hear you say that." I could hear the emotion in her voice.

"I might." I could feel her eyes on me.

"Do you?" She asked with one eyebrow raised as I looked up at her.

"I feel that way every time you call me yours." I could see the tears falling from her eyes as the sun started to rise.

"Oh, my love." She cried and pulled me into a hug.

* * *

 **A/N** So, it happened again. I had so much I wanted to do in this chapter but this conversation was so long that it needed it's own space. I absolutely LOVE Stef and Callie's relationship and after I had a conversation with my own real life Stef today, this almost wrote itself. I promise, there is more to this day! I just had to get this out for you guys.

I really hope you like this update. This one was hard to write at times but was so worth it. Please, let me know what you think! I love hearing from you guys.


	9. There's a New Sun Rising

**Stef's POV**

Callie and I watched the sunrise quietly together. Sometime after 7 am I sent her upstairs to get dressed for the day which left me to start on breakfast. Lena appeared in the kitchen and I was glad because breakfast may have been just cereal if I was left to my own devices.

"Good morning, beautiful!" I greeted my wife and she smiled.

"Morning, love." Lena walked over to the coffee maker and saw that it was nearly empty. "Did you finish this yourself?" She asked, holding up the carafe.

"Callie got to it earlier." I smiled sadly, remembering the state I had found her in a few hours ago.

"She drank the whole pot?" Lena asked with a hint of frustration in her tone as she prepared a new pot.

"I know we don't like it, but lets let her use her get out of jail free card on this one." I kissed her, ready to explain but was interrupted when Callie came back into the kitchen.

"Didn't I already use that? You know, when Lena got me out of juvie..." Callie gave us a look an we laughed.

"I've seen that look before." Lena said, turning to raise her eyebrows at me and I just put my hands up in mock surrender.

 **Lena's POV**

"Looks like everyone is sleeping in today." Stef said as Callie and I sat down, making up plates.

"It's Sunday and only 7:30." I pointed out

"More for us!" Callie smiled as she picked up a piece of bacon from the middle of the table and took a bite.

"So, what were you girls doing up so early?" I asked over my fresh cup of coffee. Callie's smile fell from her face and I looked over at Stef for any indication of what happened.

"Our girl, here." Stef nodded towards Callie. "Was having some trouble sleeping." I turned my attention back to Callie.

"So you woke up mom and not me?" I asked, feigning hurt. Callie looked between Stef and I bashfully.

"Actually, I didn't get a wake up either. This one's coffee woke me up." I frowned, I really had thought Callie would wake one of us if she was having trouble sleeping.

"What happened waking us up if you couldn't sleep?" I asked and Callie sighed heavily.

"I was going to but you were both sleeping and I felt bad waking you again." Callie spoke but her eyes were glued to the table.

"You can always wake us, love." I offered sadly, reaching out to place my head on top of hers. "You are more important than sleep." Callie nodded but didn't say anything.

 **Callie's POV**

I was trying to get through breakfast but I could feel the panic rising.

Nothing even happened.

Stef and Lena were just having small talk and we were eating.

My head was reeling and I felt like I was going to boil over. I could feel everything and nothing all at the same time. I felt everything but I also felt like I was a million miles away.

I couldn't hear what they were even talking about anymore. All I could hear was my pulse pounding in my ear.

I tried to feel my fork in my hand, hoping that would help but then I heard it clatter, against my plate I assumed.

 _What the hell? Why am I having a panic attack._ My head was screaming so many things.

 _Find Stef!_ I couldn't get my body to work in time with my mind.

 _Stef will help, just find her._ My head kept screaming but I couldn't do what it was saying.

 _Come on Callie! It's not that hard!_ As much as I tried, I couldn't do it and that just made me panic even more.

I felt like I couldn't breath.

"Callie?" That wasn't my head, that was my mom!

 **Stef's POV**

I knew something was up with Callie as soon as she dropped her fork and made no move to pick it up. I watched her carefully, she wasn't moving but she was breathing rapidly.

"Callie?" Her head shot up and her eyes were wild. Her body language and the expression on her face were enough to worry me. I pushed my chair back and rushed around to her side of the table.

"Honey, what's wrong?" I bent down so our eyes were level and I could see that she was shaking slightly.

"I.. panic." Was all that she could mutter and I knew what she meant. I had seen Callie's last panic attack Friday morning before breakfast.

"Callie girl," I moved to grab her hands. "Come on, baby, stand up for me." I practically had to pull her up to her feet.

"There you go. Now, I want you to focus on your breathing and feel your feet on the floor. You're on solid ground. Find your grounding." Callie looked up and when we made eye contact, I held her gaze, searching for a sign that she was coming out of it. Soon after, her breathing slowed down and her wide eyes began to pool with tears.

"Oh, love." I folded her into a hug.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head, pulling away. "I just don't really know what it's like to be cared about. When Lena said I was more important than sleep. I mean, I know you guys have cared for me while I've been here but," Callie trailed off and looked down at the floor.

"But now it's real?" I offered as I gently lifted her head so she could meet my gaze.

"I guess I've just always been waiting for this to end... _We're not in a position to offer you a home forever._ " Callie retold the words we said months back, on her second day here. She shared them verbatim, as if she played them over and over in her head.

"Love, how many times have you relived that moment?" Lena asked as she moved to join me next to Callie.

"It use to be only a few times but it's happened a lot recently." She confessed.

"Since we talked about the adoption?" Lena guessed and Callie looked embarrassed but nodded. "Oh honey, it's okay. That's completely normal." Lena leaned over and enveloped Callie into a hug.

"Are we moving to fast?" I asked, worried. I had been trying to be careful as to not move forward to quickly with the adoption for the sole reason of not freaking Callie out.

"No!" Callie exclaimed loudly. "No," She repeated quieter this time. "No, I'm just worried that something's going to screw it up, like I'm going to mess up something and I won't get adopted." Callie explained and things were starting to click.

"We're not going anywhere." I assured her.

"You're stuck with us." Lena added and Callie laughed lightly.

"You know what you need?" I asked with wide eye as Callie wiped the last of her stray tears. She looked at me confused but Lena smirked. "A momma sandwich!" Lena and I grabbed arms and locked Callie between us.

"No!" Callie cried with a huge smile on her face.

"Oh yes." I laughed as Lena and I kissed either side of her head.

"We love you." Lena stated, matter of factly.

"I love you guys, too." Callie managed to squeak out through laughs. She leaned against us and signed contently. In that very moment, I'd never been more happy. Our girl was transforming right before our eyes and was becoming a fun loving teenager, despite her obstacles.

 **Callie's POV**

"What kind of love fest did I just walk in on?" Mariana asked with wide eyes and wild bed hair.

"The best kind." I grabbed her and pulled her into the momma sandwich, laughing as she protested.

"It's too early for this amount of affection!" Mariana rolled her eyes and I scoffed.

"Typical." I thumped her forehead with my finger and laughed when she looked a me shocked.

"What's what supposed to mean?" She was trying so hard to look offended.

"Oh come on, Mariana. You thrive on over dramatics." I told her with raised eyebrows.

"Okay, true." he conceded, moving towards the table. I saw moms share a look. "What?"

"You guys are such sisters." Stef laughed while Lena shook her head, smiling.

* * *

This day was dragging on so slowly, probably because of the lack of sleep. I was so tired. Moms decided that we would have a barbecue today because it was so nice outside but, I mean, we live in San Diego, it's nice weather most of the time.

It was just past 1 in the after noon and I felt like I could barely keep my eyes open. Momma sent me upstairs to grab something out of their bedroom and when I walked in to the room, all my eyes could focus on was their big bed. The way the yellow, black, and red colors of their bed set had never looked so comfortable and inviting. I walked over and laid down. I had every intention of getting up, but I just needed one solid minute of quiet.

 **Lena's POV**

"Callie!" I called out as I climbed the stairs to the second story of the house. I had sent her upstairs almost twenty minutes ago. She wasn't in her room or the bathroom. I crossed the hall to check mine and Stef's room and when I opened the door, I couldn't help but laugh. Callie was laying sideways on the bed with her legs hanging off the side. I could hear her even breathing, letting me know that she had fallen asleep.

"Callie girl. I hate to wake you." I sat down next to her and placed my hand on her back as she shot up.

"Sorry, sorry." She muttered the sleep heavy in her voice.

"Everything's okay, love, but if you sleep now, you risk spending another night awake." I explained softly as she sat upright.

"Yea," She agreed but I could hear her hesitance.

"Hey, we'll get through these dreams, okay?"

"They're just so real." She stressed and I wrapped my arms around her. "It really feels like I'm back there with him. Stuck under him." Callie shuttered and I pulled her a little closer.

"I can't imagine, love, but mom and I are here to help in anyway we can." I assured her with a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you." Callie whispered with her head on my shoulder.

"It's what moms do." I simply stated before slowly standing up. "Come on, mom and Jesus just got back from the store and we've got a barbecue to prepare for." Callie jumped up and I swatted her bottom as she laughed and headed downstairs, towards the kitchen.

* * *

 **A/N** Okay, every time I try to sit down and get this BBQ written, I keep writing these scenes with the moms and Callie. I promise, I have so many plans for the day, I really do. I just can't get it to write smoothly so until I figure out this dang barbecue, I will leave you with this. Plus, I think I'm missing my momma's and it's transferring over into my writing. In a month I will be back with my momma's and maybe I will be able to focus on other things or other characters. Until then, I hope you don't mind all the lovey scenes because they're filling my love tank. Haha.

As always, please let me know what you think and if you give suggestions, please log in! I want to be able to play with the ideas and talk to you about what I'm thinking but I can't reply if you're reviewing as a guest.


	10. Acting like it's all Copacetic

**Ste'f POV**

"Okay, my babies! Prep time." I called out as Jesus and I dropped the grocery bags onto the counter. Everyone came and joined us in the kitchen.

"Jesus and Brandon, you guys are on set up. I want the table wiped down and set, please. Mariana, you get to help momma in the kitchen and Callie, that means you're stuck with me on the grill. Okay, team? Break!" I clapped and everyone laughed while going off to accomplish their assigned tasks.

"Why do you need help on the grill?" Callie asked as I lit the burners.

"Well I don't really _need_ help but this was I have you all to myself." I winked at her and she raised her eyebrow in return. "I just wanted to check in." I clarified.

Callie shifted her weight from one foot to the other but made no effort to say anything.

"What's on you mind?" I asked while I brushed the grill shelf. I knew something was bothering her but I wasn't sure what it was.

"I.." She started but didn't go any further.

"You?" I prodded as I set the brush down, turning to face her.

"Fell asleep on your bed." She mumbled and I didn't quite catch it.

"You what?"

"I, Lena sent me upstairs to get something and I laid down on your bed for a second and I fell asleep." She explained while looking down at her feet. I laughed and she looked up at me confused. "You're not mad?"

"Love, you've had a rough few days. You've barely been sleeping, what little sleep you do get has been riddled with nightmares. You'e been having panic attacks and we've been talking through everything as it happens. I expect you to be exhausted." I explained, hoping to ease her nerves.

"But I fell asleep on _your_ bed and I didn't get Lena what she needed." She stressed her words and I finally realized what was bothering her.

"Callie, momma knows you're worn out and I'm sure she's not even thinking about you not getting her what she needed." I assured her as I pointed to the window that showed Mariana and Lena dancing and laughing in the kitchen. "As for falling asleep in our bed, you've slept in our bed before, yes?" Callie nodded and I smiled. "Having four kids has made us realize that our bed is not our own."

"Four?" Callie questioned as she looked up at me.

"Thing one," I pointed to Mariana through the kitchen window. "Think two," I pointed to Jesus who was wiping down the table. "Three," I spoke as I pointed across the yard to Brandon who was closing and locking the back gate. "Four." I finished my counting by poking Callie's nose. "My four babies." I pulled Callie into a side hug as I turned the grill burners down to a lower heat.

"So, mine and momma's bed is always open." I offered as Callie rested her head on my shoulder. "Unless, of course, if the door is locked." I added with a wink.

"Eww!" Callie exclaimed, pushing me away with a look of disgust on her face.

"What? Momma and I love each other and when two people love each oth.."

"Please, mom, stop!" I smiled. I would never get tired of hearing this teen call me mom.

"Okay, okay. Go get the burgers, will ya?"

"I'd clean Jesus' room just to get our of this conversation." She exaggerated as she walked off towards the house. I couldn't help but laugh. I loved to embarrass my kids and Callie was no exception.

 **Lena's POV**

"Why do we have these?!" Mariana asked, holding up a bag of Brussels sprouts with a horrified look on her face.

"Because I like them." I argued as she dropped them back onto the counter.

"Gross." Her face was scrunched up in disgust and I shook my head laughing.

"What's up, Slug a bug?" I asked when Callie entered the kitchen through the back door.

"Ste.. Mom said she's ready for the burgers." I smiled. Often times we would hear Callie catch her words and rephrase but this was the first time she corrected herself to refer to one of us as mom.

"We just finished putting them out." I said, pointed to their spot on the counter.

"Finally!" Mariana cheered as she grabbed the over sized tray and thrust in towards Callie. "I don't know how I'm expected to chop these veggies when my arm keeps hitting this stupid tray." She spoke with an exacerbated tone.

"Glad I could help." Callie shot back sarcastically. She shook her head, laughing, as she walked out of the house, taking the tray with her.

 **Callie's POV**

"What's so funny, huh?" Stef asked when I returned with the hamburgers, still laughing.

"Just Mariana." I said, shaking my head.

"Oh that girl." Stef agreed with a small chuckle.

* * *

"Okay, my loves, let's eat!" Stef announced as Lena set the veggie tray on the table. Everyone started to pass the food around.

"Mariana, come on!" Jesus exclaimed, frustrated that his twin was taking longer than needed.

"I'm picking the best one!" She defended

"They all taste the same." Jesus huffed

"Here." Brandon handed Jesus the veggie tray to keep him quiet. Then, Lena grabbed a burger and tossed it onto Mariana's plate before passing the platter to the next person.

"I didn't want that one." Mariana groaned as she started to make her burger.

"You shouldn't have taken so long." Stef made that face where she widened her eyes. It always made me laugh.

"Yea! Serves you right!" Jesus smirked as he grabbed his burger.

"Jesus." Lena scolded with a gentle warning tone.

"Sorry." He mumbled and took a huge bite out of his hamburger.

I just sat back and watched everyone interact over dinner. I never expected to be a part of a family like this and yet here I was. I never thought I would be in a home where I was loved and accepted.

Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine myself as a daughter again or that I would't have two loving and understanding moms or the best brothers and sisters. It was overwhelming to think about but in a good way.

"So, did everyone finish their homework?" Lena asked after the table got quiet.

"I finished yesterday!" Mariana answered proudly.

"Me too." Brandon said as he grabbed a carrot and bit into it.

"Jesus?" Stef asked, shooting him a look that meant she already knew the answer.

"I'm working on it." He grumbled, shoving his face with food.

"Right after dinner." Lena instructed and Jesus' shoulders fell but he agreed reluctantly.

"What about you, Callie?" Stef asked, turning to look at me I just nodded and smiled because I had a mouth full of food.

"Three out of four, not too bad." Lena joked.

 **Stef's POV**

"Miss thing, you're on dishes tonight." I reminded as the last of the plates had been put in the sink.

"We need a house keeper or maid or something. She groaned as she started on her chore.

"Ah, but then what would you do?" I joked as I kissed her head in passing.

"Jesus, Brandon, what are you doing?" Lena hollered across the yard to them as I joined the rest of the family in the backyard. Both boys stopped messing around and went back to folding the table and chairs up to be stored away. One of the boys lost their grip on the table and it hit the ground with a loud smash.

"Sorry!" Jesus yelled while picking the table back up. Everyone went back to their tasks at hand, except Callie. She remained frozen.

"Callie?" I asked as I moved closer to her, coming to stand beside her.

"Callie, honey?" Lena asked, joining us. I moved so that was at her level and could make eye contact. Her eyes were wide and unfocused.

"You're okay, love. Just breathe." I reminded.

After a minute the adrenaline wore off and her eyes filled with tears.

"Sorry. I'm sorry." She whispered, looking over our shoulder. I turned around and realized that Brandon and Jesus had seen what happened and stood behind us, watching.

"Go finish clean up, please. We'll talk about this later." I shooed them before turning back to Callie.

"Are you okay?" Lena asked putting her arm around Callie. She flinched at first but then leaned into her.

"I just... The noise." She shook her head as if she was tying to clear her thoughts. "Yea, no, I'm fine." She offered a forvcd smiled and Lena and I shared a knowing look.

"Can I?" She asked, pointing towards the trash she was originally cleaning but didn't wait for an answer before she turned her back to us and continued cleaning us.

I signed but lead Lena over to the porch swing and sat down with her.

"We're going to have to address that, you know." Lena said as she leaned towards me.

"Callie or the boys?" I asked even through I knew the answer. I put my arm around her, pulling her closer to my side and rested my chin on the top of her head.

"All three of them." Lena spoke quietly. "Callie talked to Mariana on her own. I never even through about having to explain this to Brandon and Jesus." She confessed. We both knew it would be a hard conversation to have but it needed to happen. It wasn't fair to keep the boys in the dark. Especially not after what they just saw. They would definitely have questions now.

"After everyone's done cleaning up we can talk to Callie then we can call a family meeting before bed." I offered a solution

"Sounded like a plan."

"Until then, we can just sit and enjoy each others company." I leaned down for a kiss and smiled when Lena giggled against my lips.

* * *

 **A/N** Before I say anything I have to say I'm so sorry this has taken so long. I read a quote that says "Writers block is when your imaginary friends wont talk to you." That's what it feels like. I couldn't seem to get inside anyone's head so please forgive me if this is not my best. My mind is in 12 thousand different places as I'm about to move.

This chapter had been cut in half because it's not finished yet and I wanted to get you guys something before I lost all of you.

Big thanks to MysticMortal for checking in and making sure I was still alive! Hahaha. But really, they totally got me back into the swing of it (kind of) So, thank them for this new update. It wouldn't have happened if their messages hadn't been so encouraging!


	11. Explanations and Awareness

**Lena's POV**

"Callie, love, can we talk?" Stef asked as we entered the girls room. Callie was flopped on her bed in a position that looked horribly uncomfortable. She sighed heavily before sitting up, making room so that Stef and I could sit on the bed as well.

"What's up?" She asked nonchalantly. I instantly picked up on the fact that she was trying to brush off the events of earlier in the night.

"Mom and I just wanted to check in." I offered as Stef and I took the spots on either side of our daughter.

"Check in?" Callie asked skeptically. She was giving me on of those looks that made me seriously question if she was, in fact, my wife's biological daughter.

"Okay, we want to talk about what happened in the backyard." Stef acknowledged Callie's skepticism, clearly deciding that getting right to the point was the best choice.

"What about it?" Callie asked, brushing it off as if nothing of significance took place.

"We're worried about you, Callie." I spoke softly but fiercely. Trying to convey how serious I was.

"Why?" She jumped, a little to quickly.

"Because we love you." Stef interjected and Callie visibly shrunk back.

"Baby, we're just worried that you're not processing things like you should be." I said more gently now, hoping that the calmness of my voice would help soothe her a bit.

"I don't need to talk everything to death." She snapped.

"Of course you don't, bug." Stef reached out and rested her hand on Callie's knee. "What momma means is, it's not healthy to bottle everything up. My girl, trust me, I speak from experience." Stef threw a wink in Callie's direction and in turn, Callie smiled and let out a small giggle.

"There's my sweet girl." I grinned, happy to see Callie amused by Stef's small joke. "If you don't want to talk, that's perfectly okay. We just want you to know that we're here for you and this is a safe place." I softened, not wanting to push her to hard and cause more damage.

Callie suddenly became very interested with the hem of her shirt sleeve. She had all of her attention focused on the material as she fiddled with it between her fingers.

"I'm sorry." She finally said after a minute. "I was rude."

"All is forgiven, love, but can you tell me why you were rude?" I wanted to get to the root of the issue, not just accept the apology and move on. Callie shrugged but again began fiddling with her long sleeve. "Come on, Slug A Bug, can you give me anything?" I knew if I got Callie talking, I could keep the conversation going. The hardest part of having a conversation with this girl was always the initial task of getting her to open up.

"Were you angry with momma?" Stef asked gently and Callie's head shot up.

"Of course not!" She answered, almost as if the question offended her.

"Then what were you angry about." Stef continued her prodding.

"I don't know." Callie groaned and flopped backwards onto the bed. Stef and I shared a look before we both leaned back on the bed as well, keeping Callie between us.

"Being angry is completely normal, bug." I explained while gently brushing my hand through my daughters hair. "When you can't identify the source of the anger is when it becomes a problem." Callie had closed her eyes but I could tell she was thinking.

"I'm not angry with you." She finally spoke after a few minutes of quiet. "but sometimes I take it out on you."

My solemn face slowly changed until I was sporting a huge smile. I looked over Callie to see that Stef's expression was a mirror image of mine.

"That's a big step." Stef breathed out, our eyes never leaving each others.

"What?" Callie eyed us both, confused by what Stef meant. She has been oblivious to what she had just revealed.

"Trust." I smiled at her. "You're normally really careful with your actions and words. The fact that you're comfortable enough to take your anger out on me, it shows us that you feel safe and that you trust that we will take it and we'll still love you." I explained and Callie nodded.

"It's a big step and it's a step that we've been patiently waiting for you to take." Stef smiled and leaned in to kiss Callie's forehead. "We love you." she added

"I love you too."

"Well, I love you both and I hate to ruin the moment." I sat up and looked down at two of my favorite people. "but we did come up here for a reason." I reminded. Stef nodded and sat up, pulling Callie up right with her.

"Momma's right, my girl, we've got something we need to talk about." Callie looked between us, her face etched with fear.

"Nothing's wrong." I assured her, rubbing my hand down her back. 'We just need to talk about something." I repeated Stef's words

"Callie, baby, momma and I think we need to explain to the other kids what you're going through." Callie furrowed her brow.

"Why?" She asked flatly. "Mariana already knows."

"Mari foes know, but your brothers don't and I think they're starting to get worried about what happened earlier." I tried to get our viewpoint across. We both knew that the idea of having a family meeting for the sole purpose of talking about Callie, would make the girl uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, I didn't.."

"My love, please don't apologize." Stef interrupted. "You have nothing to be sorry for but it is important for everyone to be on the same page and aware of what their family members are dealing with."

"It's true, Callie girl. Your brothers love you and they want to be able to help you."

The room got quiet and Callie still seemed skeptical on the idea of this family meeting. I looked over at Stef, hoping for some help but she was her eyes fixed on Callie.

"Do I have to be there?" Callie finally asked. I was taken aback by the question and judging by the look on my wife's face, she was as well.

"It's up to you." I recovered and answered her questions in record time.

"I.. I don't think I want to be there." She admitted, looking down at her hands that were resting in her lap.

"Okay." Stef agreed and pulled Callie into her side, resting her chin on our girls head. "You don't have to be there, but we're going to talk to the kids tonight, okay?" Callie tensed for a moment but nodded. The three of us sat quietly for a few minutes, just soaking in some mom/daughter time.

"We're going to go talk to the kids before bed." I finally announced while standing up, Stef slowly joining me. "We love you." I kissed the top of Callie's head.

"And we're proud of you, my girl. Incredibly proud." Stef added before mimicking my actions before we both retreated out of the room.

* * *

 **Stef's POV**

"Alright guys, we need to have a little chat." Lena started once we had all the kids rounded in and in the living room.

"I didn't do it!" Jesus exclaimed which made me laugh.

"No one is in trouble." I said to everyone but looked directly at Jesus. That kid always seemed to be up to something.

"We need to talk about Callie." Lena continued softly.

"Is she okay? I didn't mean to scare her, the table just slipped." Jesus suddenly went into his protector mode. He's a tough kid but he's always watching out for his twin sister. Lena and I have loved seeing that side of him open up to Callie as he has become the overprotective brother that Callie never had.

"Callie's struggling with some stuff but she's going to be okay." Lena remarked, "It's not you fault." She reassured Jesus.

"Before Callie was in the foster system, she lived with some people who were unfit to care for her. Right now, she's trying to deal with it all and she's having a hard time. So, I want you guys to try and be understanding." I wanted to make the kids aware of what was going on without going to much into detail.

"Is that why she kind of freaked out earlier?" Brandon asked.

"It is." Lena nodded. "She might be jumpy, easily frightened, or even moody." Lena continued to explain, letting the kids know what to expect from their sister.

"You said it happened before she was in the foster system?" Jesus asked, clearly picking up on what was happening. "So, she had a bad family?" He added.

"From what mom and I have learned, Callie's had good parents, when they died she was sent to live with an aunt and uncle who were violent." Lena offered some information as to what we knew.

"What happened to them... those family members?" Brandon questioned, he looked worried for Callie's well being.

"They're probably in jail." Jesus muttered. He and Mariana had both experienced living with unfit family and their biological mother had been sent to jail shortly after they came to us.

"They're dead." Mariana spoke up for the first time since we had all sat down to have this talk.

"Whoa." Jesus remarked.

"So her parents died and these people died too?" Brandon asked astonished, like he didn't quite believe it.

"I'm glad they're dead." Mariana stated,

"Mariana!" Lena scolded while both boys turned to stare at her.

"Not her patents," She corrected her first comment. "but that guy, he sounded like a bastard." She folded her arms over her chest while sporting one of her famous 'Miss Thing' faces. "Seems like he got what he had coming."

Lena seemed to be slightly flustered by Mariana's reaction but I couldn't help but half shrug and sit back.

"Regardless," Lena stepped in, "We just want everyone to be aware of what's going on. So , if you see something out of the ordinary let me or mom know if we aren't already aware and please, be nice to each other." She added the last part, knowing that it was sometimes hard for all four siblings to get along.

Everyone seemed to agree to the request and I was so proud of our kids. They were all growing and maturing into such amazing young adults.

"Okay, troops. I think it's about time for bed." This was met with a round of disapproving groans and grunts. "Go on!" I shooed them up the stairs to get started on their nightly routines while I stole a few moments alone with the love of my life.

* * *

 **AN** I'm sorry this took me nearly a month to get out! I finally made it to the other coast of the USA but I've still got one more move to make before I can get settled.

Anyway, I've already got some ideas for the start of the next chapter, I was going to add it to this chapter but it seemed like it would be better to just stop this one here and then continue on to the next chapter. I'm not sure how I'm going to end it so we'll see what happens.

As always, please let me know what you think, if you like it, if you have anything you would like to see.

Happy reading!


	12. Let Your Tears Touch The Ground

**Lena's POV**

Monday morning came way to soon. As much as I knew I needed to get up to get ready and throw together a decent breakfast, I just wanted to stay curled up in the blankets and block out the morning sunlight. I took a few extra minutes than I normally did, just to lay in bed and enjoy the warmth. A few minutes was all I had to myself before I felt Stef stir and wake up. That was my sign that t was time to get up.

"We got a late night visitor. Stef mumbled groggily, her voice still heavy with sleep.

"What? I asked confused." I rolled over to find out that we did indeed get a visitor at some point throughout the night. Callie was curl up on the floor with her pillow and blanket. "Oh Callie." I murmured. "Did you hear her come in?" I asked, pulling Stef closer as she shook her head.

"I woke up some time around two and we were still alone." She noted as she closed her eyes and laid her head back down.

"Hey, none of that. It's time to get up." I swatted as I pushed her towards the edge of the bed.

"I'm up, I'm up!" She playfully grumbled as she rolled off the bed and landed on her feet, starting her morning routine, preparing for the day.

* * *

"Good morning!" I greeted as all four kids slowly trickled into the kitchen, less than enthusiastic about the the start of another school week.

"What a lively bunch we have here." Stef remarked a she poured herself a sup of coffee.

"Can I?" Callie asked, reaching her hand out towards Stef's mug. Stef and I shared a look before she extended her hand and passed the mug off. Normally this wouldn't be something we would allow but considering the way the weekend went and where we found Callie this morning, I was sure she probably needed the extra boost this morning _._

"We leave in twenty minutes!" I announced while I started to grab lunched from the fridge and pass them out.

"Have a good day, my loves." Stef said as she kissed head before walking out of the kitchen and the front door, leaving for work.

* * *

 **Jesus's POV**

"Leave me alone!" I heard the voice before I even turned the corner in the hall. The voice sounded familiar but all I saw was a group of guys in a circle by the lockers.

"What's up?" I called out when I got closer. The guys just kind of shrugged and walked away, showing what they were huddled around. "Callie?" I asked, as I got closer to her. "Are you okay?" Her eyes were glossy but she nodded.

"I'm fine." She whispered and then reached down to grab her backpack.

"Did they do something?" I asked, Callie looked fine but she seemed upset

"They were just being dumb." She dismissed my hesitation. "Really, I'm fine." She forced a smile and then shook her head. "Just don't tell moms, okay?"

I didn't believe her, not at all, but I agreed and put my arm around her shoulder.

"Come on, lets go. We're already late. Mama's probably about to leave without us." Callie laughed and we walked out to the parking lot together.

"There's the stragglers! What too you so long?" Mama asked as we walked up, everyone was waiting at the car already.

"I forgot my science book and Callie came with me to get it." I shrugged and got into the car as to avoid more questions. Mama watched me with a doubtful look but she didn't say anything more.

* * *

 **Lena's POV**

Our drive home from school was normal but I noticed that two of the kids seemed off, Jesus and Callie. It's not that the two didn't get along but it wasn't common for the two to do things together. Part of me wanted to dismiss my suspicion and just be glad that the two were spending time together. The other part of me, however, knows that when something seemed off or out of the ordinary, something was usually up.

I decided to let the issue take a backseat as I continued to watch the kids through the rear view mirror. Stef and I could address the issue later if it still needed to be dealt with. Until then, we had a lot of other things to worry about.

In an attempt to brush off the feeling. I tried to engage the car in a conversation about school. Brandon was chatty as usual, answering my questions while practicing his piano fingering against his knees.

Mariana gave little acknowledgment, switching between making small talk and looking at her phone. I couldn't help but smirk and shake my head. That girl couldn't go an hour without her electronics.

Jesus was doing his best to engage in conversation, but I could tell that he was answering my questions without really listening or thinking about his responses. He would occasionally glance over at Callie, who had her headphones in. She had her music up far to loud while staring out the window.

"Callie!" I called, trying to get her attention. Jesus reached over and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hmm?" She hummed as she took her earbud out of her ear.

"The volume." I expressed as I gave her a pointed look.

"Sorry." She nodded before putting the ear bug back in its place while turning the volume of her music down slightly.

Something was definitely off with my girl and sooner or later I would figure out what it was.

"Hey love." Stef greeted as she entered the kitchen later in that night. I smiled at her, to lost in my thoughts to muster an actual response. "What's on your mind?" She asked and I chuckled lightly. Stef knew that I was mulling over something. She always knew.

"Something is up with Callie," I explained, "or at least I think there's something up." I backpedaled, suddenly questioning my initial concern.

"She did seem a bit quiet at dinner." Stef squinted while thinking back to earlier in the evening. "Did something happen at school? Maybe after?" She asked as she sat next to me at the island.

"She didn't seem like herself after school." I shrugged. "I don't know if anything happened or if she is just reacting to our talk with the kids." I wasn't sure what was bothering Callie but I wanted to figure it out. As her mama, I wanted to help her in this journey in anyway that I could. I knew she was struggling to cope with the stress of everything that happened and with everything that was shared this weekend.

* * *

 **Stef's POV**

After talking with Lena, gaining a better understanding of what she was picking up from Callie, we decided that it was best to try to talk to our girl. With everything that she was going through right now, we had decided we need to let Callie set the pace, but somethings told me not to let this one go.

"Callie, honey, can you come down here please." I called from the bottom of the stairs.

It took a few minutes but Callie finally emerged into the kitchen. Our sweet girl was hiding within a big pull over, with the large size and the hood up, she looked much smaller than she really was. Her big eyes shone bright, even with the hood casting a shadow over her face.

"Come sit with us." I motioned to the stool across from Lena and I. Partly so that Callie felt like she had some space but mostly so that I could see her face. Callie often told me more with her facial expressions than she ever did with her words. An ability that I picked up on quickly and that I was glad for since our girl wasn't always forthcoming with her real emotions.

Without hesitation Callie sat down, her eyes not meeting our. They were downcast, as if they were glued to the table. Her thumbs were moving erratically, pulling at the hem of her sleeves. This was Callie's distraction, her way of keeping herself composed. Lena and I both noticed this early on. Callie would pull on her sleeves or wring her fingers when she got anxious. This instantly heightened my senses. I never doubted Lena, but this was the proof that something really was off with Callie.

"What's wrong, bug?" Lena asked, instantly picking up on the anxiety that was radiating off of out girl.

Callie looked up at us briefly. Her eyes were filled with tears as she glanced up from the table, to Lena, to me, and back to the table before shaking her head.

"Callie, love." I breathed out, my heart hurting as I heard my daughter let out a heaving sob and saw her hide her face with her sleeve covered hands.

* * *

 **AN** Are you guys still there? Do you hate me? I kind of hate me. This took me MONTHS to update, I am the kind of writer that I hate and I'm so sorry. You know I moved and that kind of took a lot of my time. Well then I relapsed, drugs, alcohol, all of it. I didn't just fall off the wagon, I jumped as far as I could and I hit rock bottom. That's no excuse but now I'm back. I'm clean, sober, and ready to continue my writing so I hope you guys are still out there and interested in the story!

The very beginning of this chapter was written almost 8 months ago and I continued on with it instead of changing it. I got this idea from an early reviewer and I couldn't stop playing the idea over in my head so I decided to write it in. Also, I wanted this to be longer, I had some filler moments, but I just go so bored writing them so I didn't want to bore you with reading them.

This was written fast, like super fast, and typed out at midnight (I desperately need sleep.) so I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes!


	13. She knows no limits

**Callie's POV**

* * *

How do I tell them that I don't feel like I belong? How do I explain that when those boys called me an orphan, instead of thinking about the Fosters, my first thought was that they were right? Or that all night since that, all I could think about was that I didn't belong here, that I would never be one of them. I'd always be he orphaned Jacob kid.

"Bug?" Lena's voice interrupted my my thoughts. I lifted my head to look towards her and we locked eyes. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I wanted more than anything for this woman to be my mama but some part of me was yelling in my mind to sabotage the adoption and get sent away. It terrified me that I could love a family this much and the only thing that I can think is that it's not going to last. As I looked from Lena to Stef and back, I wasn't sure if I wanted them to hold me tight or push me away.

"Talk to us, love." Stef pleaded and I just shrugged. I couldn't find my voice.

"Did something happen today?" Stef already knew something happened, she always knew. I wasn't sure but I think the look on my face answered her question without even trying.

"After school?" Lena knew too, probably tipped off by the way Jesus and I were acting. How was it that even when I tried my best, they still could figure out what I was hiding something?

"I finally just nodded, accepting the fact that hey were on to me and I couldn't keep the issue hidden much longer.

"What happened, honey?" Lena asked, reaching across the table to put her hand on top of mine.

"Some dumb kids called me an orphan." I shrugged, trying to seem unaffected but the stupid tears that fell down my face betrayed me.

"Callie,"

"Don't!" I growled, interrupting Stef. "Don't try to console me, it's who I am and I need to accept it." I couldn't tell if I was angry or just hurt but I could tell that I startled both Stef and Lena with my tone They looked kind of shocked for a second before they recovered. They were always good at that. Lena's brows were furrowed as if she was analyzing me or the situation, trying to figure out what just happened. Stef, on the other hand, gave me emthat/em look, the one where her eyebrow was raised, lip pursed, head cocked a bit.

I could either apologize now and probably get away with it or keep it up and regret it later.

"My parents are dead. I am the literal definition of an orphan. I meet all the qualifications and apparently it's tattooed on my fucking forehead for everyone to know!" I guess I wasn't apologizing and getting away with my once small outburst. Judging their faces, they were surprised by my use of the F word. I was even surprised it slipped out, but it was exactly how I felt.

"Language." Stef reminded but she didn't try to stop me, almost as if she knew I needed to get it out. Lena put her hand on Stef's shoulder, almost as if to tell her to let me continue. Then again, maybe that was just what I was using as an excuse to keep talking.

"It's stupid, this is what I am and I have to accept it. Callie Jacob, the orphan. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" I rolled my eyes. "Why did I even think getting adopted would change anything? It will never change the fact that my parents are dead. Even if I want to be an Adams Foster, even if I want you to be my moms. Nothing will change the fact that they're dead!" I slumped now, tears freely flowing down my face.

Quiet settled over the room and I refused to lift my eyes from their resting spot on the table. What if this was the straw that broke the camels back? What if they're finally going to admit that I'm too much work and they don't want to deal with it? What if I just ruined my last chance at getting adopted? As if getting drunk wasn't enough to put them through, now I'm sitting here yelling at them for stuff that isn't even their fault.

"Callie," Lena's voice was soft and when I looked up, she didn't even look angry. She almost looked sad, Stef looked the same when I looked over at her. "We love you." Lena simply stated. I was confused, why wasn't she mad, why was she telling me that they loved me?

"You're not going anywhere." Stef added and I realized they knew I was struggling with felling like I belong. They knew that part of me was trying to sabotage the adoption. They always knew.

"Oh." I acknowledged

"We'll keep reminding you until you believe it." Lena said softly. "Remember what I told you? It's going to take awhile until it sinks in, but we'll be here to remind you."

"Until you're tired of hearing it." Stef laughed.

"Sometimes I just don't know why you would want me." I whispered sadly. It still doesn't make sense. I'm just another mouth ro feed. They will have to provide for me themselves if they finalize the adoption - clothes, food, shoes, and those are just the necessities. What if they want to go on vacation? What if I break my arm or get really sick? Medical bills are expensive.

As if on cue, I could feel my chest get heavy and my airways tighten. I felt like I couldn't take a deep breath to get enough oxygen to fill my lungs.

"Callie, baby." I don't know when she moved but Stef as beside me now. "You're okay, love, just try to focus on your breathing." I felt disoriented. I could feel her arm on my shoulder but her voice sounded like it was a mile way.

I felt myself droop to the left. Afraid I was going to pass out, I forced myself to take a deep breath.

"I've got you, love." Lena said, not on my left, letting me lean on her. I was finally starting to feel like I could breath properly. Focusing on the warmth of Stef's hand on my back and the pattern of Lena's thrum rubbing the top of my hand was enough for me to reground myself.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled when I had caught my breath. I was so frustrated that I had another panic attack, maybe even a little embarrassed.

"There's nothing to apologize for, love." Stef said, reaching up to cup my chin and lift my head so our eyes could meet. I could see the could see the worry in her eyes and I couldn't stop the feeling of guilt. I caused that worry. "Are you okay?" She asked.

Angry tears formed behind my eyes and burned as they came to the surface and fell.

"Talk to us, Callie girl." Lena urged softly. I shrugged as I wiped my face.

"I'm so much work." I partially whined. "So many other people gave up on me, I'm just waiting for you to do the same." I finally explained. I'd been feeling like this for awhile, I just never knew if I should say anything.

"That's not going to happen." Stef spoke in a soft yet firm tone.

"We know you're worth the fight, baby. You're worth our time." Lena added in the same soothing tone. "We've seen how much you've grown, Callie. Six months ago you wouldn't even be sitting here talking to us about this. This is progress." She explained. "We love you for who you are."

Stef and Lena had worked so hard to build a relationship with me and make my adjustment to living here as easy as possible and I have done everything in my power to disrupt their efforts.

"I'm sorry that I'm hard to love sometimes." I apologized sadly.

"Oh sweet girl," Stef murmured. "It's not difficult to love you. I think that sometimes it's difficult for you to receive our love, hmm?"

Her suggestion hit me like a bolt of lighting. The realization of the truth in her words made me tense in shock. I was the one struggling, not them. They're been loving me in the little things they do. When Lena would work hard all day and still come home and make a healthy dinner for the family. How they both insisted we have family dinner and they would listen attentively to ll of us talk about our day. When Stef would make her nightly rounds. She had a routine, check that all the downstairs doors and windows were locked, then hug and kiss all the kids goodnight. Some nights she would check on us even after she thought we were asleep.

Stef and Lena had even showing me their love since I got placed here six months ago and I never noticed it.

All of a sudden, I felt another wave of guilt wash over me. Stef and Lena had done so much for me and I hadn't even understood the entirety of it. Of all the homes I've been in since I was eight, this has been the best. I need to trust them. Like, really trust them because this is where I want to be. I don't want to be sent to juvie, or a group home, or even another foster home. I want to stay here, this is home.

"I gotta get something." I half mumbled before running of the stairs to my room, grabbing something, and then running back. The confused looks on Stef and Lena's face matched that of Mariana's when I ran in and out of our shared bedroom.

When I reached the kitchen, I had a box in my hands. It wasn't big but the secrets it held were.

"Whatcha got there, Cal?" Stef asked warily.

"A lot." I offered as I set the box on the table and pushed it over towards them.

The two looked at me, then each other, before they lifted the lid off and saw what the box held. Lena's face looked horrified while Stef's looked disappointed. I'm not sure which hurt more.

"What is this?" Stef asked. I knew she knew, she just wanted me to confirm it.

"My stash." I signed, I could feel my heart thumping in my throat and the blood rushing in my ears. "I don't want it anymore." I elaborated as I saw Stef pull out the mini liquor bottle and the half empty pack of cigarettes.

"Callie." She started and suddenly I got a burst of confidence.

"Look," I said, interrupting her. "I know I screwed up... a lot. I've done a lot of stupid stuff but I realized something tonight. I want to be here. I want to be a part of this family so much that it scares me and maybe that's why I'm screwing up so much. I've never lived somewhere like this. I've never felt so loved or cared for and it freaks me out."

There was a long pause before I said what I really needed to say. "but I don't want to leave." The tears on my face were hot and annoying but I couldn't stop them. "This place, this house, it's the first safe place I've ever remembered living. You guys make me feel face and loved... Please don't send me away, moms." I was heavily crying now. I should be embarrassed, I normally would be, but I just poured my heart out and I could feel all of my energy completely drain from my body.

"You're not going anywhere, my love." Mom was suddenly next to me again. "As long as I have a say in the matter, you'll stay right here with mama and I."

"We promise, bug." Mama agreed, now crouched down net to me as well. I nodded my acknowledgement, hiding my face when a yawn escaped.

"Mom and I have a lot to talk about," Mama spoke, "why don't you go up and get ready for bed and we can talk about this more at another time?" She knew I was so drained and as much as I hated to admit it, sometimes I loved that they could read me so well.

I nodded and stood up, turning to leave the kitchen. I made it to the bottom of the stair before I tuned around and walked back to the kitchen.

"Did you forget something?" Mama asked as I reented the kitchen.

"Yeah," I answered while walking over to her an hugging her, "I'm sorry, mama." I uttered an apology for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last hour.

"I forgive you, slug a bug." She whispered while holding me tight. I repeated the process with mom next.

"I'm sorry." I expressed quietly, leaning into her a little more.

"You're already forgiven, sweets." She reassured me. "We love you, so much." She said as she let go of me.

"I love you, too." I returned before finally going upstairs to get read for bed. I don't feel so bad after talking to moms and now all I want to do is sleep.

* * *

 **A/N** Well, this update didn't take nearly a year to get out... LOL. Consider this a little tide over until tomorrow night because THE FOSTERS IS BACK TOMORROW.

Did you guys notice the change of Callie referring to Stef and Lena as such and then later, after reassurance, she started to call them mom and mama again? This is something I've personally been struggling with - not referring to my moms as mom and/or mama anymore and to add it in here, has been so cool to bring someone else through it, even if it's just a character. Goes back to my original reason I started writing this, to find some type of healing in this journey.

Anyway, I have a tiny bit of the ext chapter planned but other than that part I have NO idea what's going to happen so I'd love your input if you have any!(:


	14. I'm Worn Even Before the Day Begind

**LENA'S POV**

"Something is going on." Stef said from over her steaming mug. "She's quiet, she's isolating."

I nodded my agreement, still at a loss for words. Callie had withdrawn again. She went back to the quiet reserved girl we met when she first came to us. We had seen this happen in the past but it was normally accompanied by attitude or outbursts.

"I would take anger and screaming over this." My wife sighed. I set the mug in my hand down in the sink and turned around to face her.

It had been two and a half weeks since Callie gave us her hidden stash of contraband. She had taken her punishments without any complaints, but with that, she pulled away and became quiet and reclusive.

"Do you want to talk to her?" I askked as I set down a stack of dishes at the table, getting ready for the impending breakfast.

"Maybe we should let her come to us." Stef thought aloud. Turning her head to look over her shoulder, toward the sound of the kids coming down for breakfast.

"We'll give her some time." I half agreed, knowing that if Callie didn't come around soon, we would need to intervene.

"Good morning, Mariana." Stef sounded shocked as she was the first at the table.

"Morning." She smiled and reached for the orange juice. "You know, if I didn't love to sleep so much, I might get up earlier more." She smirked, while putting food on her plate.

"More like if you didn't love getting ready in the morning." Jesus rolled his eye as he entered the kitchen.

"Seriously, who takes an hour and a half in the bathroom?" Brandon groaned while Mariana shot them her typical 'Miss Thang' look as Callie quietly walked in, joining the morning bustle.

"Make sure you guys get a good breakfast in," I reminded, "You've got finals." A collective groan met my words.

* * *

I made a point to watch Callie throughout the day at school. I wanted to see if her behavior here, was mimicking the change we were seeing at home. She was participating in classes and keeping up with her work. It seemed that she was less social though. Callie didn't have a lot of friends at school but she always managed to talk to a few students in passing through the hallways on her way to the next class.

"Hey, Callie Q." I greeted as I sat at the empty table my daughter was occupying on her lunch break.

"Hi, Mama." She responded while looking out to watch the ocean waves cash against the wet sand before retreating back.

My heart skipped a beat and I couldn't help but smile. Whatever was influencing my girls recent behavior changes, it wasn't causing her to regress into places we've seen her go in prior upsets.

"How's today going?" I asked, studying her body language carefully. She shrugged, turning her attention to me.

"It's okay." She finally answered. "Nothing out of the ordinary." She added.

"You're extraordinary, you know that, Callie girl?" She scoffed softly, the look on her face clearly showing that she was skeptical of my words being true.

That was something that broke my heart for my kids. Even when the twins were originally placed with us, they had no self confidence because it had been stripped from them over the years of abuse or neglect. One of my favorite parts of being Mama to these kids was to help build that back up and to watch the dullness in their eyes, turn into a sparkle.

"You've overcome so much. You're balancing school a social life, you're staying on top of homework and chores at home. You're doing so well and you've come so far being here with us. I know you might not believe it, bug but you've always been capable of this, you just were never given the right environment to flourish. Mom and I are so proud of you, my love." Placing my hands over hers, I smiled as her eyes met mine.

"I'm trying." She spoke softly. The school bell sounded, calling her back to class and interrupting our time.

"That's all we ever ask of you, love." I encouraged as she stood up. I was pleasantly surprise when she hugged me softly. I returned the gesture and kissed the top of her head.

"I'll see you after school. You know where my office is if you need anything." I reminded her. Callie smiled and nodded before disappearing back into the building.

I sat back at the table, fixing my eyes on the seashore like Callie had, trying to process the conversation just had. Maybe she wasn't pulling away, or maybe not intentionally. Callie was normally very easy to read, she always told more with her actions that with her words. From what I just saw though, she seemed okay. Maybe more quiet than normal, lost in her thoughts, but that was pretty common for her.

Whatever the case, Stef and I would be sure to address it once we got to talk about it some more.

* * *

"Where's Brandon?" Jesus asked, mouth full of his last giant sized bite of dinner.

"Jesus," I said as I scrunched up my face at his poor table manners.

"Sorry," He grinned sheepishly.

"He's at his girlfriends." Mariana said, answering his question with a smirk.

"Which one is it this week?" He threw out sarcastically.

"Really, Jesus?" Stef chided, shooting him one of her infamous 'death glares.' As the kids so kindly put it.

"Sorry." He shrugged, reaching for seconds.

"He's not wrong." Mariana chimed in as Callie giggled.

I couldn't help but smile. With Callie struggling so much recently, it was reassuring to see her engaging even in the smallest ways.

"Can I be excused?" Callie asked. "Please?" She added, standing up, plate in hand. Stef and I shared a look before nodded.

"Sure, love. Be sure to clear your place." Stef said and Callie nodded, placing her dishes in the sink almost silently before disappearing upstairs.

"I'm done too." Jesus added, inhaling what was left on his plate before placing it in the sink and following Callie's path up the stairs.

"So what's up with Callie?" Mariana suddenly asked, nonchalantly while finishing her salad.

"What do you mean?" I asked, wanting to hear what her perspective was on the situation.

"She's really quiet." Mariana commented with a shrug. "Like, quieter than normal!" She added with exacerbation.

"How has it been at school?" Stef asked. Although we had talked on the phone earlier about the conversation I had with Callie, I'm sure Stef was struggling, not being able to see Callie's behavior at school.

"We really only see each other in the halls between classes since they changed out lunches, but she's still quiet." She paused in thought before continuing. "She doesn't talk to me as much and when I see her at school, she doesn't seem happy unless she sees me or Brandon or Jesus. Like, maybe she's sad." She concluded with a frown.

Hearing her words just reminded that Mariana has such a sweet, caring heart who feels so deeply, even while coming off tough.

"Thank you for sharing, Miss Thang." Stef smiled softly, "Mama and I will take care of it." She promised.

"I hope so, I miss my sister." She sighed

"I know, love. We miss her too." Stef agreed

"Why don't you go finish your homework and get everything ready for tomorrow?" I suggested, hoping to get a few minutes to talk to Stef alone.

"Love you!" Mariana hugged us after she had got the rest of her and our dishes off the table and into the sink.

"We love you, Mari!" I called as she left the kitchen.

"We've got to figure this out." Stef groaned, resting her forehead in her palm.

"I know, my love." I sighed while wrapping my arm around her.

We sat, enjoying the company of each other and the quietness of the kitchen. After several minutes I heard a chair being pulled out and we both looked up.

 **STEF'S POV**

"My love!" I smiled, seeing Callie sit down across from us.

"Hi," She spoke softly with a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"What's up, bug?" Lena asked, using her favorite nickname.

Callie shrugged, looking up at us before down casting her eyes to her hands that were placed on the table.

"Talk to us, Callie girl." I prodded, wanting to her from her. After everything I had heard today, I was so desperate to talk to my baby about what we going on.

"Everyone keeps talking about me."She sighed heavily, clearly sounding annoyed.

"People are worried about you." I explained softly, knowing that Callie was prone to shutting down or even getting agitated if voices were raised.

"I'm fine though." She defended herself.

"Are you?" She paused for a moment, seemingly lost in thought.

"I guess. I'm just tired a lot and I don't have a lot of energy to do things." Callie finally admitted and from the corner of my eye I saw Lena perk up, almost as if she had an "Aha!" moment.

"Can you elaborate on that at all, honey?" Lena asked, leaning into the conversation as Callie shrugged again.

"I don't know. I'm just really tired. Like, in the morning when I wake up I'm still tired. I don't really want to do anything or talk to any one. It's just, it takes a lot of energy and I don't have enough ever." My girl looked so worn out from those four sentences and my heart broke.

The thought of her struggling this much without Lena or I knowing was so disheartening. How many times had I seen my daughter look exhausted and just brushed it off as a hard day at school or a rough week? We had completely dropped the ball on this one and Callie suffered alone because of it.

"How long have you felt this way, love?"

"It feels like forever." She sighed. "Maybe a few weeks, I guess. It's just gotten worse though."

"Honey, I think you might be battling some depression." Lena explained and I sucked in air, holding my breath, waiting to see how Callie would respond.

"Depressed?" She questioned with a scrunched up nose. "I'm not even sad." She argued.

"It's not just sadness, my girl." I offered with a soft smile.

"Moms right." Lena continued. "It can be sadness but it also means numbness, a lack of motivation, fatigue, isolation, loss of appetite, loss of concentration, anxiety." I listened as Lena listed off symptoms we had seen our daughter exhibit over the last couple of weeks.

"Oh." Callie nodded, not making eye contact.

"It's okay, sweet girl." I reassured her. "Maybe we can set up an extra appointment with Rita." I offered, knowing that Callie had really connected with Rita. When she nodded, I knew she really must be struggling more than we knew. The Callie we knew and loved would never have agreed to an extra therapy session without putting up at least a little bit of a fight.

"Oh love." I cooed, getting up and walking to her side of the table. "We'll figure this out." I promised as I wrapped her in my arms.

"Moms right. We'll get you through this, bug." Lena added, joining us.

I felt Callie nod and lean into the embrace without any words.

In this moment, my heart hurt for my daughter, possibly now more than ever. She had suffered silently for two weeks without coming to us or with us coming to her. This was a total parenting fail, but as we held Callie in our arms, it felt like maybe things were starting to come together.

One way or another, this family would band together as a team and help Callie fight this.

* * *

Not sure if anyone's still reading but after a lot of loss, heartache, struggling, a few wins, and now a lingering bout of depression, I'm back with more words.


End file.
